How to become white trash.

I am learning a lot from living in Tooele. One thing is that I am learning how middle class my neighborhood was growing up. There were no big swimming pools in people's driveways with the teenagers 'laying out' on top of the cars in the street to tan. I never saw a dog left on the roof for no apparent reason. Where were the chickens raised in small wire cages in the front yard - moved around every few hours or so to stay in the shade of a little stick tree? Man, all the fun I must have missed. And that is just on two blocks of my street! How about couches out on the dead front lawn so you can sit out there while your laundry dries hanging from the gutter of your house? No one cut trucks apart and then welded them together on their front lawn. Why didn't we think of these things in Sandy?

Well, whatever I didn't learn in my youth, I am learning now. Take a look at the temporary fence I put up in the front. It used to have two pieces of PVC pipes on both ends of the metal post with string strung across them to keep my kids off that side of the lawn. It was up for one night. The next morning, Jacob and Cameron took out their light sabers and "saved the world" from those posts (aka knocked them down and walked through all the string). Note the light saber on the ground.

Yesterday our swamp cooler broke AGAIN right before church so Ryan and I climbed on top of the roof to see what was wrong last night. We salvaged our current swamp cooler parts from a neighbor's old swamp cooler about a month ago, but didn't use their motor. So, at around 10:00 pm Ryan went and got the neighbors motor and we stuck it up there and it worked fine. Well this morning, it wasn't working again. Since our house was already 80 degrees (it was 7:00 am) with the fans running all night, I went into panic mode. Ryan didn't have time to look at it and it was going to be a hot day. My house faces west, so the back of the house gets the sun full on in the morning. Here was my solution.


Oh yes, that blanket in my kitchen above my sink is actually pinned up with push pins. There is also a piece of cardboard behind the blinds to help block the light.

I actually got tinfoil out to begin pasting it to every window in the house, but changed my mind after tearing off a big piece and realizing what I was doing. I wasn't willing to go quite that far.

I would show you Matthew's room but to all those who helped me make it cute, I couldn't disappoint them by letting them see how the cardboard didn't fit in the window and instead of cutting it, I just set it up so it is sticking way out on both sides under the blinds, which is covered with a blanket.

My garage that is so full of kids things I can't pull my suburban in and adds to the overall feeling of the house - along with the marijuana we are growing in the flower beds (just kidding about the marijuana).

Since our sprinkler system was struck by lightening last year and we are too stupid to figure out how to fix it and too poor to pay someone else to fix it, we water our lawn with a little cheap attachment. And since our dog for some reason likes to chew on the hose, it usually has a few small fountains of water spurting out of it when we turn it on. Our grass is green in some areas only because the morning glory is so thick it makes it look green.

And this is the fun of owning a house. A list of things that need to be fixed longer than the house itself was not part of the deal. (Wait!!! Maybe it was in that 150 pages of paperwork I signed at closing and I missed it.)

Back to the swamp cooler. (I would hate to leave you hanging). I fixed the swamp cooler motor. I fiddled with our old one and unscrewed things and screwed them back in, oiled things and then oiled them again. I cried and complained a little and then called my friend Julie. Julie is about as handy- if not more - as any husband and can do just about anything that needs to be done. She and I got on the roof after dropping the kids off at school and put the old motor back on, tightened the belt to where we thought it should be, and WHAM! The swamp cooler worked. Don't worry though. Ryan made sure to leave the big old swamp cooler parts on the roof because he doesn't know what to do with them. We do have an image to uphold.

WHEW!!! Another romantic night on the roof, another lesson in swamp cooler parts and problems, another way to look like white trash. I think my work is done for the day!

p.s. Just a note, I did get dressed before going to Walmart today though. I even wore a non-see-through shirt AND a bra. Maybe I am more classy than I thought!

Blogging guilt

We went out with some friends last night and our conversation got me thinking... it is so easy for me to vent in my blogs. In fact, it is therapeutic in so many ways. When things happen it helps me so much to find humor in the every day challenges of life.

But in that, I need to make sure I am saying great things about my family too! I don't want people to get a wrong impression of my kids and spouse. So, here goes the relief of my guilt.

Ryan
Ryan is my patient and sensitive eternal companion. He compliments me amazingly well. He is an eternal optimist (I am a realist), is laid back (I am not), a procrastinator and a perfectionist (very odd combination), less social (not me :) ), a geography whiz (is Canada a state?), an artist (I can draw stick figures if necessary)... just to name a few. He can do the kindest and most thoughtful things and definitely would be considered the "fun" parent. I can't say enough about how he righteously leads this family with the priesthood - setting a wonderful example for our kids. He has come to not accept any disrespect from our kids to me and is willing to step in at home or away to put kids in their place. He strives hard to support our family and works very hard as much as he can. He is wonderful and I love him more than anything!!!

Brandon
A fascinating mix of us. He has my anxiety, strong desire to please others, works very hard in school, and the oldest child syndromes that we oldest children have. He has Ryan's sensitivity (will come put his arm around me and ask me how I am or if I am okay on any random day), procrastination and perfection syndrome, and a love of collecting and nature.
He has been the 'perfect child' in church and school, sitting reverently, being respectful, working hard - setting the standard pretty high for the rest of his siblings. One of the things I love the most - he has never said he hates me or called my any type of name. He can slam doors, argue, and disagree, but doesn't do it meanly to me.
He is responsible. I can give him any of our kids, including Matthew, and he can take care of them - feeding, changing diapers, bathing, brushing teeth, getting dressed. I love how he will happily play with Jacob - bionicles, light sabers, nintendo, legos, or whatever is cool at the time. Some of Jacob's friends come over in hopes Brandon will be home and suddenly appear with his collection of light sabers so they can have an 'everyone attack Brandon' war where Brandon dramatically dies or looses limbs to his little foes. He and Jacob have developed a very good friendship.
He takes holding the priesthood very seriously. He has a wonderful testimony. He loves soccer (and is very good), running, reading, and being home. We have been 'training' him to be able to babysit other families and he would be a wonderful babysitter. He has been learning to cook and prepare meals.
He has been my buddy for many years. Perhaps that is why it is so distressing to me at times as he pulls away trying to develop his own independence. I get slightly envious that he now chooses Ryan over me and is trying so hard to follow and be like him. He has been a great teacher for me and especially now that he is in the pre-teen stage, I am learning once again from him and making many mistakes - I am sure.
Rachael
I will only admit it here - of all our kids, Rachael is the most like me. She is dramatic, emotional, social, and has a hot temper. She LOVES to be the boss and in charge of things. She is like Ryan in that she is incredibly creative (gets distracted easily - her mind is just always working). She can come up with the most fascinating art projects, cooking ideas, phrases, stories, and things to do.
Rachael is also very responsible. She is learning how to take care of kids of all ages - including the most difficult, stubborn, 3 - 4 year old in our family. One of her strengths taking care of siblings is her ability to find ways to get them to do what they need to do, like through having a contest, playing a game, becoming an animal, etc. She is learning how to cook, but wants to do it with a recipe and perfectly. She LOVES detail (very frustrating to me) and small projects become bigger and bigger as she does things. She is resourceful and begs me to keep 'garbage' like empty containers, toilet paper rolls, egg cartons, and anything else that might be useful.
She is probably the meanest to me of all my kids. Her ability to vocalize her feelings has been a challenge for us from the time she could speak (9 months). She is also very flirty to the boys her age. Her 'explosive' temper is always a challenge. She comes across as being quiet and moody to people she doesn't know. She has had the personality of a teenager for years and the attitude and moodiness is not getting any better. She has also been a 'girly girl' since birth (not at all like me) and loves anything girly, and pretty, and fancy, and teenagerish.
Rachael is an excellent student - very smart, and knows how to play the school game to get good grades and be on teachers good side. I can count on her to help out with any of the kids when I need it. She gets along with Brandon really well, and either is Kristin's best friend or worst enemy. She adds an 'exciting' dynamic to our family.

Kristin
Kristin is a great example of the nursery rhyme - "There was a little girl who had a little curl, right in the middle of her forehead. And when she was good she was very very good, and when she was bad she was horrid." Ryan says of all the kids, Kristin is the most like him. She is very very artistic, loves animals of all kinds, can be so kind and loving, and quietly bugs. She is like me in that she is very sensitive to people's feelings.
She is a wonderful babysitter in our family because she doesn't just want to be the boss, she wants to play. She will play with Jacob and Cameron for hours, setting up games, school, toys, and activities for her to play with them. She really is a very good artist and good at detail. She says she doesn't like babies and that she doesn't want to get married and have kids. But when Matthew smiles at her, she can't help but to play and interact with him. She will talk about how much she doesn't like babies, but handles him very well.
She is so so messy. She has the hardest time cleaning things up and keeping up with her games and room. Her room can be more messy than I ever imagined a room can be. She is sneaky. She loves to bug and make people mad. She hides things in her room she is supposed to put away. She takes things she isn't supposed to all the time and hides them in her room (but doesn't hide the empty wrappers. :) ). She is more tomboyish (like me) and loves soccer and being sporty. When she gets mad at people, she gets physical. Many of her and Rachael's fights come from Rachael saying mean things and Kristin beating her up for saying those things. Kristin can have a heart of gold. She is my most charitable child, she cries when even her sister leaves to spend the night with family because she misses her. She has the ability and doesn't hesitate, when in the mood, to give and give of herself and her things to help others feel better.
Kristin, like Brandon, has my anxiety. Her anxiety comes out in the form of Trichitillimania, a disorder where she pulls eyelashes, eyebrows, and hair on her head. She is always battling it, and sometimes it is much worse than other times. We went to counseling a year or so ago, and I am have learned a lot about how to help her battle her disorder.

Well, that is all I am going to post for now. I will post about the last three another time. I know this is boring to everyone else - how exciting can it be to read about someone else's kids? I had to do this to satisfy my own conscience though.

I know I am blessed with a great big family. I am very fortunate!

What I learned today.

I have been trying a lot harder than in years past to get my kids to clean and do a good job. I was even so proud that I found a significant job for Cameron, my 4 year old to do. When someone vacuums, he loves to look around and find little things that person missed. So, for a few months now, I have been having him use the hose of the vacuum and go around the edges and in spaces that somehow get missed and have him vacuum up the 'gucks' - we call them.

I learned my lesson today.

When I went to vacuum the edges of my room, I turned the switch on the vacuum to "hose" and heard a funny noise. I turned off the vacuum and found the hose was clogged. Upon further inspection, the hose had A LOT of stuff in it - that obviously shouldn't have been in it. I unhooked one side and Ryan and I took several minutes shaking out the stuff with Cameron watching. Here is what came out.
Following a hunch I ask Cameron - "Did you vacuum up all these Magnetix?"

"Yes"

Wow. And a dinosaur lego head, and a mini lightsaber, and a small bouncy ball, and some paper and unidentified food, and some dust.

I think the lesson might have been better learned if I had not then run and got my camera to take a picture for this blog.

Oh well. We told him not to do it again, and little does he know, that he just lost his 'vacuum things with a hose' privilege. At least today. (Who knows what can get sucked up! Have I been missing anything lately...?)



Lesson learned :)

Three down, two to go!

I just dropped my girls off at their first day of school. Basically, it went off without any major hitch, though somehow they reverted back to their terrible behavior from last year. There have definitely had worse days, but they have had much better too.

Anyway, yesterday was Brandon's first day, but today is really the first official day of school since yesterday was just for the 7th graders. Here is how my conversation with my pre-teen 12 year old went...

"Hey Brandon! How was school today?"

"Good!"

"Tell me about it."

"Ummm, okay...."

Silence

"How were your classes? Did you find them okay?"

"Yes. Some of them were a little hard but it went okay. I found them all."

"Great! Did you get a locker?"

"No. I get one tomorrow."

"Did you know anyone in your classes?"

"No."

"You didn't have any friends in any of your classes?"

"Well, I think I had a couple in one of my classes."

"Oh, that's great! Who?"

"How am I supposed to know that? I don't know!"

(I think - ummm you go to your classes and see who is there -)

"Okay. Did you meet your principal or vice principal?"

"No."

"Did lunch go okay?"

"Yeah, we had pizza and a capri sun."

"Did everything go well with your lunch account?"

"I don't have a lunch account."

"Ummm - yes you do. I put a whole lot of money on it."

"Well, if I have one I didn't use it."

"How did you buy lunch then?"

"They just gave it to me."

"Anything else?"

"No. Are you done?"

"Yep, I guess so."

So, Ryan asked Brandon how things went later - Brandon began talking up a storm and told him he had an assembly yesterday ("I thought you didn't meet your principal and vice principal. Weren't they there?" I ask him. "Yes. I didn't MEET them, I just saw them at the assembly." (of course - why didn't I think of that?). And he told Ryan about a candy bar he won in a class. He also told us that his Pre Algebra class has - 38 kids in it. (38 kids? What is that all about? An advanced math class with 38 kids and one teacher? What were they thinking?) He tells Ryan about his teachers and classes. Obviously Ryan will have to be the communicator with Brandon right now. Odd considering how much men communicate. But I guess that is why it is important to have a Mom AND Dad in the home. At least I got some out of him. Who knows how much he will want to tell me in a couple of months...

Anyway, after attitudes and my morning has come and gone, I wonder at how this school year is really going to go. I was up at 6:25 to make breakfast (we were out of milk so they couldn't have cold cereal) and get going. To get kids ready in time to take the girls to school was constant activity and I didn't even get the boys ready. They had clothing and shoes, but Jacob will be going to AM kindergarten and Cameron has to be in preschool by 8:30 - 5 minutes before the girls and Jake have to be at school. Wow. I am thinking I will be getting up at 6:15 - and that isn't even accounting for scripture study or a bad Matthew day!!! AAAHHHH!!! Welcome to the real world, right?

Why Family Home Evening?

Okay, does anyone else wonder why you do family home evening? I know WHY (we are supposed to) but I don't know WHY if you know what I mean. One of my friends said that you never know when something you say or teach will sink into one of the kids so you do it and hope someone is getting it. I have though about this a lot. I have 6 kids and so the chances are that one of them might actually be listening and getting something out of it. At least that is what I tell myself as I grit my teeth on Monday nights. Last night is a great example of why I feel this way...

We start off singing "We thank thee O God for a prophet" which is a great song. But Ryan wanted to sing all 3 verses so after the first verse, we got out the extra hymn book and tried to situate it so everyone who didn't know it could sing. Rachael was already mad so she was rolled up in a ball on the couch and wouldn't even look at the book. In fact, she was bugged that Kristin was even trying to share it with her. I only had Kristin sit by her for half of a verse. Then we stop, have Kristin move over to share with Brandon. But Brandon is trying to follow Ryan who is getting the verses mixed up and kind of making things up as he goes. Cameron is 'leading' and Jacob is walking around the coffee table.

During the lesson, (which lasted maybe 15 minutes) kids are participating as little as possible, walking around, trying to sleep on the couch, bugging the kid next to them, throwing markers at other kids, and playing with Matthew. At one point I stop everything and announce that I am the only one listening to Rachael's part (Rachael has decided to sit up to read her section). And I really was. Everyone else, including my significant other (he was holding up Matthew with one hand above his head talking to him) was doing something else. By the end, I am getting groans as we sing the 12 apostles last names in order to the tune of 10 little indians. (we are trying to memorize them).

We get through closing prayer, and announce that our activity is weeding the garden (it's good for the kids to weed every once in a while). Everyone has to pull 40 weeds and then 10 extra for Matthew since Matthew can't weed yet. Rachael runs into the bathroom crying and slams the door. Jacob runs into his room and climbs on his bed crying (he is still angry because we wouldn't let him play his gameboy during FHE). Kristin yells and slams a few doors saying nothing is worth getting ice cream at the end because she "hates" ice cream. Ryan goes outside happy as a clam (he likes the garden) and Matthew is crying because he has a tummy ache. Eventually, the kids make it outside with a garbage bag to collect their weeds in. Rachael is the last to head out after staying in the bathroom for 10 minutes. Jacob goes out shortly before yelling that everyone is being mean to him.

The kids each pull 40 weeds in about 2 minutes and come in for ice cream. Everyone ate ice cream except the girls (they don't like it and were still rebelling) and so I sent them to bed early.

So does that sound like there is any significant learning involved? I sat in the house and paced the hallway with Matthew as the kids were weeding trying to get him to stop fussing and thinking that there must be someone else out there who has less than perfect FHE's. I would love to hear that it is all worth it in the end. Sometimes we have a kid or two sitting backwards on the couch before we even start because they don't want to be there. I figure they can be in the room so they can at least hear what is going on even if they don't want to participate. And even though we could all sit on our couch and love seat, no one wants to touch each other or they DO want to sit close to another kid so they can bug them. Often times, someone is trying to lay down on the couch or floor so they can "sleep" instead of participating.

I remember having FHE when the three older were little. They were fun. Much less complicated. We played sink or float (with a bowl of water and random objects to test to see if they sink or float). We sang primary songs and had a little lesson with stuffed animals or little people about being nice or sharing. Maybe we should revert our lessons back to the good old days....

The hole in the ceiling....

Okay parents. Tell me what you would do.

So, Rachael shares a bunk bed with Kristin. They have the biggest room in the house, but the ceiling is very low so Rachael who is on the top bunk has about 18 inch clearance from her mattress to the ceiling. Today she was remaking her bed after washing her sheets and comforter. Her blanket wouldn't get tucked in perfectly, so apparently she laid on her bed and kicked the ceiling (just lightly according to her). And yes, kicked a hole in the ceiling. The hole is about the size of a softball and isn't all the way through the sheet rock. But it is definitely a good crack. She came and told me about it (which was good since sometimes I find these surprises well after they happen) and so I have to give her credit for that.

What would be a good punishment? I took a love and logic class once and they teach that punishments should match the crime. For example, if one of my kids hits his brother, I duct tape his arm to his side for the rest of his life. Or cut it off. Something like that. So, a natural punishment to Rachael's deed could be to...

a. make her patch the ceiling and then retexturize it and repaint it. (pros - it fits the crime. cons - I have to be okay with a shoddy job and it will take a great deal of patience to help her fix it.)
b. cut her foot off (pros - she won't be able to kick another hole with that foot. cons - it would probably be considered child abuse)
c. make her pay for the supplies for fixing the hole. (pros - it will definitely bother her to have to do this. cons - she only earns $5.00 a month for allowance and has been saving it since her birthday to go in with Kristin and buy a gameboy and it kills me to have to take from their fund.)
d. ground her for life (pros - that will teach her. cons - that will teach me too. Is grounding really that smart for a parent to do? Do you really want your kid around you ALL day - especially grumpy and bored? I use this punishment very sparingly.)
e. ground her until the ceiling is fixed. (oh wait, that could be a year or more... see above pros and cons)

Do you have other good punishments? You can leave them in the comments section. Also, vote on your favorite in the left margin.

:)

(attitude check: instead of thinking "Man now here's another thing to add to our fix list, and I haven't patched a ceiling before! I don't want to have to try to retexture and all that. It better not need to be re-sheetrocked!"
I will think this: "Thank heavens I have children to teach me patience and important self reliance skills so that by the time they are raised, I will be able to build my own house with my own hands! I am learning so much thanks to those little angels!")

My attitude

I am finding it essential to have a good attitude when things don't go as planned. Mostly because this life I am living is not like I imagined it to be! Here are some examples of how I am trying to change my thinking.

Situation: Cameron drawing on Matthew's head with permanent blue marker
Attitude: Oh thank heavens he drew on something that will eventually wash off!

Situation: Chopping the end of my finger off at the Spruces campground after 5 hours of preparation, 2 hours of driving, and only being there for about 2 hours!
Attitude: I am so grateful I didn't chop my hand or more of my finger off! That could have been much worse. How lucky I am that I have reached my insurance out of pocket maximum this year and so I can just go to the emergency room and sit in peace for 4 hours! Since I won't get back until 1:00 in the morning, I can look at the stars as I park my car outside the campground and walk back to the tent! It will be so nice and peaceful.

Situation: A pitcher of Tang falling of the counter and hitting the floor splashing tang up the side of the cupboards on the island and floor.
Attitude: How lucky am I that the cupboards caught the Tang before it could splash across the rest of the kitchen! Now the tang is in a several square feet section instead of a long skinny section across my entire kitchen!

Situation: My kids putting their clean clothes in the hamper and their dirty clothes back in their drawer when they get lazy.
Attitude: What a great opportunity to teach them how to do their own laundry.

Situation: Our abundant crop of grasshoppers out here in Tooele eating our garden and my raspberries.
Attitude: Hey, at least I won't have as many plants to pull up this year when the garden is finished! And the plants I have left will be a lot smaller than they would have been!

Situation: My girls cat-fighting in Maceys parking lot
Attitude: Look how well they will be able to defend themselves when they are on a date in a few years! And they didn't have to take Karate to be able to fight like that! I am so lucky they are so talented.

Situation: Squash bugs running rampant in our garden destroying some squash plants and attempting to destroy all of the plants!
Attitude: I am so grateful for spiders. I wish we had a lot more in our garden!

Situation: Our swamp cooler breaking. When trying to replace it, having bolts rusted to themselves.
Attitude: Ryan and I know how to completely gut out a swamp cooler and replace the parts with other used swamp cooler parts. We got to learn about a new tool - the cold chisel. And using a drill on the roof during a rainstorm to try to drill out screws was so romantic! It only took us 3 days to get it working!

Situation: Matthew pooping up his back often - most of his onesies are now stained.
Attitude: I am so glad he gets most of his poop on his onesies which I'll probably throw away when he is done anyway! Isn't orange a nice color to add to these? Better orange than brown!

Isn't my attitude getting better?

Finally...

Okay all you non journal writers out there. You know how it feels when you know you should be recording your life as it flies by and the longer you wait, you feel more and more guilty until you never want to think about it again - well, that's how I have been feeling. There is so much I could have put on here. In fact, I am so nutty, I write blogs in my head as my days go by but they never seem to make it to the computer.


So, there is no way to catch up on the past many months. Lets just say that I was pretty miserable and had enough problems at the end of my pregnancy that my childbearing years have probably come to a close. I have my wonderful Matthew - our caboose - who will be fine at the end. He is doing great and we are happy to have him in our family. I will post a picture of him here.





Here are few more pictures of highlights of our summer so far. We went camping, I cut of the tip of my finger with a hatchet. My finger is growing back now just fine. We had an awesome family reunion at the cabin, and we went to the cabin with Ryan's brother Jared. This weekend we are going with some friends. And then school is starting up again. Jacob turned 6 a few days ago, Cameron turned 4 a month and a half ago.


Time flies.....

















A patch of snow that the kids found on a hike up the spruces. They had a snowball fight! We got to go to Lagoon as part of an american express thing on Cameron's birthday.











My lego cake I made for Jacob's birthday. Basically, a 9x13 cake cut into thirds and then one third cut into half again. The bumps are large marshmallows cut in half and frosted. The cake was a hit!











Can I say sibling rivalry? Check out Matthew's face on that picture above... I think he senses it!

















Swim lessons this year at our awesome outdoor pool!!!


Okay, one last picture.


This last picture is of the black widow and her TWO egg sacs we found when cleaning out the garage. To give you a size reference, the egg sacs were the size of small marbles...





Good thing we had a neighbor whose son in law was visiting and had been to scout camp. He used the-hairspray-and-match-to-torch-the-spider-to-death method. It worked. All I know is there were several fireballs coming from the corner of my garage and then he picked up the egg sacs and squashed them. I had the creepies for days!




And what does Matthew think of all of this? Answer in the poll in the left margin!


My vote is...


He thinks... "what kind of crazy family did I come to?"


I hope it is a fun crazy family at least!