Addictions

We all have them right?

I have a daughter with a not so normal "nervous habit", "addiction", "tick", whatever you may call it. It is called Trichitillimania, and basically, it is a disorder where the person pulls their hair out. This can be hair on their head, arms, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc.

My daughter was diagnosed a few years ago and we went to counselor over a summer back then to help me and her learn coping techniques. Unfortunately, there aren't any counselors that specialize in Trich here in Utah, but the counselor did the best she could.

It is a disorder that will come and go for their lifetime. People who have it may not pull for months or years and then start again. Once they start, it is terribly hard to stop. I relate it to me trying to eat just one cookie, or one M&M, or reading one blog. :) And when she comes to me with tears in her eyes telling me she is pulling and just can't stop it rips my heart out because I know personally of the struggle and battle that can go on inside.

Well, she has been having problems again after 9 months of not pulling. She mainly pulls her eyelashes and eyebrows. There have been times where she has had no eyelashes and almost no eyebrows at all. She will pull them all out. Right now, her eyelashes are gone on the top lids, and nearly gone on the bottom lids. Her eyebrows are patchy. This is the first time she has had a problem during school. She begged me this morning to let her stay home and cried yesterday as she realized after a day of pulling at school that kids might notice and say something to her.

I can't tell you how worried I was that kids would tease her today. But she came home and said no one said anything to her. How I pray the kids will be nice. It's so hard to tell if 3rd graders will even notice. We are working on coping techniques and what to do when she starts to feel like pulling. We went inside the school yesterday and talked to her teacher to get her teacher involved which was really hard for my daughter because she is so embarrassed when it happens. But I can't be there when she is in school to help her when she feels the urge and my daughter needed someone she could talk to. Her teacher was very loving, nice, and supportive. I really appreciated it.

Now we pray for the eyelashes to grow back, and grow back fast. It is hard to see her big eyes without anything there. It will take at least a month before there will be noticeable lashes there and I just need her friends to keep being her friend and like her no matter what. The things we pray for for our kids. This is one of the things that makes parenting so hard. I hate seeing my kids go through stuff. I wish I could take it all away... (especially when I am the one who gave her the anxiety gene in the first place!) I realize kids- especially now- need to be strong for all that they will encounter in the future. It is just so difficult to watch. And as they get older, the harder it is. I can't imagine what it will be like in another 5 years. I don't think I'll ever get used to it or that it will get any easier. But things will be okay. I will trust that the Lord will not give my children challenges they cannot handle - and lets face it - we want our kids to be tough, right?