Update

I know it's been so so long since I've updated on here.  It's kind of like the same kind of guilt I feel when I don't read my scriptures and it just follows me around in the back of my mind.  :)

One thing I have had a hard time with is managing my care here.  I have an Ophthalmologist, Endocrinologist, Cardiologist, Neuro-Ophthalmologist involved in my care, but not involved together.  My family practice doctor out here in Tooele just kind of dropped me.  I still like them for basic things, but I was very frustrated with them.  My Cardiologist took a real interest in what was going on with all these symptoms I was experiencing and suggested I needed a good doctor to manage these things.  There are so many different systems being effected that perhaps someone would be able to pull things together and make sense of them all.

The Cardiologist said he had an internal medicine friend who was very good and he would put in a call and see if he would be willing to manage this case.  That day I had this doctor - Dr. Gandolfi, requesting records and having me sign a release form.   After they received the records they scheduled an appt. Not just a 10 or 15 minute appt. but an entire hour.  Yesterday was that appointment and it was really great.

Dr. Gandolfi works at the Granger health clinic.  When I arrived at the appointment, he had thoroughly reviewed my charts, labs, doctor notes, and tests.  We talked about symptoms, he asked lots of questions.  Then we did some thorough doctor office tests- especially neurological tests.   He sat down and tried to pull things together and decide on a next course of action.  We came up with a plan.  He is contacting my Endocrinologist to talk over a few things with him, I am going to see a Neurologist in his office, we are waiting for one more lab to come back from the lumbar puncture I had, and going from there.

The lumbar puncture (LP) aka spinal tap was not fun.  The numbing part was the worst part of the procedure.  I laid on my stomach and sobbed as the radiologist kept telling me he had to go deeper and deeper.  They measure opening pressure which is the pressure inside of the membrane that surrounds the fluid.  The opening pressure was high- normal is 10-12 cm and mine was 31cm.  Then they took 5 -6 test tubes of the fluid (CSF) for lab work. 

Then came the spinal headache.  A spinal headache is caused from not enough fluid in the spinal column and so the brain is not floating in this fluid like it should be.  Your body replaces the CSF constantly, maybe even 3-4 times a day, so it is used to making more if it needs to.  However, the membrane that the needle is pushed through does not have a blood supply.  It is thick and elastic.  Most of the time it closes on its own.  In about 20% of the people that have this procedure, it does not and the CSF continues to leak.  I fell in that 20%.  When you have a spinal headache, there is little to no pain when lying flat on your back because the fluid regulates itself.  However, sitting and standing applies gravity to the fluid which means there is not enough surrounding your brain.  The brain has very sensitive nerves and membranes holding it in place.  When there is even a small amount of strain on those, it creates this headache.  A spinal headache cannot be taken care of with any pain medications- even the good strong prescription ones.  The only relief is for the hole to repair itself and the fluid to be replaced.  Along with the headache comes nausea and sometimes vomiting.

If you have this leak that won't seal up on its own, they do what's called a blood patch.  A blood patch is similar to an epidural.  They enter the same area that the LP was done in (except they don't enter the membrane) and take some of your own blood from your arm and inject it into the site.  The blood does two things - clots by the hole, sealing it up and preventing the CSF from leaking, and fills the epidural space pushing the fluid back up towards the brain.  The procedure is 95% effective immediately.  Since the epidural space is supposed to be empty and is now filled with blood, there is a lot of burning and pain from the blood being in there.  Eventually the body absorbs the blood back into the system and the problem's solved.  A blood patch has to happen in the ER and is performed by an anesthesiologist.

I waited and waited for my body to solve it on my own.  After getting the LP which was one of the most painful things I have ever done in my entire life, I couldn't imagine them reentering the same area and pushing the blood through.  But after spending 7 days flat on my back and still not having relief from the headache, my Neuro-Ophthalmologist's office convinced me it had to be done.  I had been to the ER 2 times already and the third time I was very nervous.  The procedure is done sitting up.  They put 18cc's of blood in my back until my ears were ringing and as I started passing out they laid me down.  I had to lay on my back while the blood clotted there and then went home and took it easy - which wasn't hard with all the pain I was in.  I exchanged my extreme headache for even more extreme backache.  Two days later, however, my back just feels like a deep bruise.  It's not bad.  And no headache!  Yeah!  I feel like I am now on the road to recovery.  I just need to catch up on getting ready for Christmas.  (who can afford to loose a week right before Christmas?)

Possible diagnosis right now - Pseudotumor cerebri, MS, and I'm sure a plethora of other Neurological disorders I don't know about yet.  Most likely this is all related to something neurological.  After so many months of testing and more testing, I would just like to know what I am dealing with and get a solution or plan in place.  I finally feel like I have doctors on my side instead of fighting doctors.  I feel like I've done enough testing to rule out lots of stuff and narrow things down.  I really like my most of my doctors.

So, there's the update!  Thanks for all the support and concern expressed through these last months.  So many times I would be discouraged and feeling alone in my battle and I would get a note or message from a concerned friend and it has provided such support for me.  Thank you everyone.  You are fantastic!  I have been blessed so much.  :)

Dear Sunday

Dear Sunday,

Well, it's been another week.   Here I am again looking into the next week and reflecting on the past week.  I'm fasting today for someone to find some answers.  Tomorrow I am trying a different doctor - an infectious disease medicine and internal medicine doctor.  My friend went to her and found she was proactive and on top of things.  I hope she will be a good in-between doctor for me.  I need someone to help coordinate everything between all these specialists and tests and help pull things together.  Maybe a fresh set of eyes looking at tests and symptoms will see something.  I am fasting again tomorrow for the appt. so they can run whatever tests need to be run.

I keep wondering if this is in my head, and then I'll have a day that's worse than the others and know that I can't be making my heart go that fast, beat that irregular, and make breathing so poor.  It's pretty scary sometimes.  Fasting with these symptoms makes it harder to do things with my hands - they shake so much as it is and then add the no food part to it and even writing or typing is difficult.  My double vision seems the same no matter what though.  I guess I'm glad that's not changing.  I have a testimony of fasting though and I need those blessings!

I am so glad to get some test results back this last week.  The second MRI on my brain was less fun than the first.  The contrast they gave me made me feel pretty sick.  No pituitary tumor!  Just some thickening in my sinuses (hey, my allergies are real after all!).  No adrenal gland tumors either.  Almost everything came back normal.  I'll let the Dr.'s analyze the rest of the results.  Still a few tests out, but we'll deal with them when they come back.  Some are pretty specialized and take a while to get back.

Confirmed no graves disease but I have several nodules on my right thyroid and a few on my left - none suspicious of cancer.  My right thyroid is enlarged too, but not keeping me from swallowing.  I don't have as much patience with my kids.  By dinner, my anxiety is taking over and I am grumpy and short tempered.  The anxiety is part of the symptoms.  Normal anxiety I feel I have under control.

So, this is what I want this next week Sunday.  When we meet again, I want to have more answers or a better idea of the track I need to be on to find those answers.  I know so much of this is a waiting game.  I am learning patience (again) waiting.  I am being humbled asking for help so many days.  I can't tell my friends how thankful I am for the offers of help and hours of babysitting!  I am thankful I am not sicker and can still function.  I am so grateful for the energy that I do have so I can accomplish what must be accomplished.  I am so grateful for my sister-in-law Esther who spent a day at our house helping out and visiting with me.  She has no idea how much that family support meant to me.   I am so lucky to have such a supportive husband.  He works overtime for us and we appreciate all that he does.  I sure love him!

So, goodbye Sunday.  We will meet again soon.  Thank you for your day of reflection and peace.

Diane  ♥

Here's a picture of my thyroid - just for memory sake!  I know, that's odd and a little creepy.  :)

If I only had a brain...

How about if I only had a brain that worked right!  He he!

This is NOT my brain, BTW.  I got it off the internet.  :)

In February, I started noticing that when looking to the side in either direction I would see double.  My vision got worse the more tired I got and when I saw double, things weren't 3 dimensional anymore.  It got worse over the next few months, but I was dealing with other problems and wasn't sure where to start with this one.  During the summer I got my annual eye exam and the Optometrist said there was nothing I could do that that I probably had it my entire life and just noticed.  I didn't settle for that.  I went back to my Dr. and had him run some tests.  Besides being severely low in Vit. D, my thyroid was the only other major thing that was off.  I started having thyroid problems at the end of my pregnancy.  My thyroid hasn't been at normal levels yet.  It is hyperthyroidism, where it's producing too much hormone.

I had a second test 3 months after the first one to see where all the levels were.  My thyroid was still a little high (vit D was better) and so I went through a process to get into an endocrinologist recommended to me by my cousin.  It was a long process.  I also decided to go to and Ophthalmologist to get checked out.  He confirmed my double vision and did some tests with prisms.  He had me come back a month later so he could see if it was worsening or staying the same.  During that month I had my knee surgery.  :)  I came back and things were only slightly worse in one direction.

To rule out anything major - tumor, stroke, inflamation, etc, I had an MRI done.  It was not fun.  It was long and I was told I couldn't even move my eyes.  Not even when they were closed.  I was glad when it was over and took a copy of my films home.  Dr. Griffith thought it was probably a 90% chance that I have Graves disease- an autoimmune thyroid disorder where my body is attacking my eye muscles. 

The great news is that the MRI came back normal!  Hooray!  No tumors, strokes, inflamation or anything else that was unusual.  The bad news is that now we are starting from scratch.  The Dr. doesn't know what is causing my double vision now.  He is trying to determine the next step for me to take.

I have my appt with the Endocrinologist in another week.  Maybe he'll have more answers.   Then off to a Spectrolgist (doctor who specializes in putting prisms in glasses so that I can have some put into my glasses) or a Neurologist who specializes in eye disorders (there's one at the U), or both.  I'm sure I'll have some testing done with the Endodrinologist too so I'm not out of the woods yet.  I appreciate the thoroughness of the doctors helping me.

I won't get my vision back.  At least one of the muscles controlling my eyes have stopped working.  But I hope to keep it from getting worse and take care of the underlying cause.

Bring it on!  Lets get this show on the road and taken care of!  :)

Being assertive lesson 2

Since being assertive is something I am still working on, my therapy lesson focused on it again and I got this great worksheet I thought I would share since some of you have been asking about being assertive and passive.  My assignment is to pick a few of the situations listed and be assertive.  There are a bunch so I'll just list what I think is the most relevant. 

1. Asking a favor of someone
2. Resisting sales pressure
3. Telling a person I am intimately involved with that he/she has said or done something that bothers me
4. Admitting ignorance in an area being discussed
5. Turning down a friends request to borrow money
6. Turning off a talkative friend
7. Asking for constructive criticism
8. Asking for clarification when I am confused about what someone has said
9. Asking whether I have offended someone
10. Requesting expected service when it hasn't been offered (e.g. in a restaurant)
11. Expressing an opinion that differs from that of a person I am talking with
12. Telling someone how I feel if he/she has done something that is unfair to me
13. Turning down a social invitation from someone I don't particularly like
14. Resisting an unfair demand from a person who is important to me
15. Requesting a return of borrowed items
16. Telling a friend or co-worker when he/she says or does something that bothers me
17. Asking a person who is annoying me in a public situation to stop (e.g. smoking on a bus)
18. Criticizing a friend
19. Criticizing my spouse
20. Asking someone for help or advice
21. Expressing my love to someone
22. Asking to borrow something
23. Giving my opinion when a group is discussing an important matter
24. Taking a definite stand on a controversial issue
25. When two friends are arguing, supporting the one I agree with
26. Expressing my opinion to someone I don't know very well
27. Interrupting someone to ask him/her to repeat something I didn't hear clearly
28. Contradicting someone when I think I might hurt him/her by doing so
29. Telling someone that he/she has disappointed me or let me down
30. Asking someone to leave me alone
31. Telling a friend or co-worker that he/she has done a good job
32. Telling someone he/she has made a good point in a discussion
33. Telling someone I have enjoyed talking with him/her
34. Complimenting someone on his/her skill or creativity

When we went over this list, some of these things really surprised me as being assertive.  I can see them now, but I wouldn't have thought of being assertive in those situations. 

Are any of these hard for you guys?

The mean trick

I LOVE my girls!  I am so glad I have 2 girls and that they are so close in age to each other.  I love that they are getting older and enjoy doing so much fun stuff with me.

It makes the battles we fight worth it.  Like the battle of whether it's okay to have your bra strap showing when wearing a shirt with a neck that's a little too wide.  That's something that I never dreamed I'd have to argue about.  I get embarrassed thinking someone might have accidentally seen my bra strap!  I guess that shows the state of the world that they live in.  Bummer too because my girls aren't quite teens yet.  I have a feeling I will be having a few more battles to fight before it's all over.  :)

Here's something clever that happened this morning.  Jacob made Kristin mad.  They fought with threats while I was in the shower.  Kristin was going to hit Jacob with the brush and Jacob was going to hit Kristin with the step stool from the bathroom.  So, Kristin took Matthew into the bathroom and closed the door and gave Matthew Jacob's toothbrush to suck on.  Clever retaliation.

Who sings that song "It's only just begun?"  I need a copy.  It's a nice peaceful song I can listen to while I take several deep breaths over and over to keep my cool.  :) 

Mini post 2 - Matthew's stitches

Well, my baby got stitches.  A lot of them.  He likes to get on a kitchen chair, turn around backwards, and rock.  In fact, last Wednesday when it happened, he had done that and the chair fell (for the first time) giving him a bruise on his left temple. 

I was sitting AT the table 3 hours later doing a little crafty thing with Cameron when he climbed up again and before I could grab his chair, rocked one time.  The chair tipped over and he fell into a corner by our back door.  I sighed and slowly went over to pick him up.  When I turned him around I went into panic mode seeing the huge wide open cut through his eyebrow that was definitely going to need stitches. 

I calmly ran him over to the sink and grabbed some paper towels.  I calmly asked Cameron to come with me into the car as I grabbed my purse.  I buckled Matthew in and found a place for Cameron to hang out as I started shaking and calling our Dr. Office.  Dr. Beazer was in and willing to take his lunch break fixing Matthew's eye (it was right before noon).

Matthew got 7 stitches, a nice line bruise 4 inches long down his face and then a good bruised and colored eyelid.  Here are some pictures.

He loves having his picture taken.  Kind of funny how happy he is I think. :)

Today we got his stitches taken out which was almost as traumatic as getting them put in for him.  He isn't going to like going to the doctor again for a little while!  As soon as he saw Dr. Beazer, he started pointing to the door, ready to go.  But the sucker on the way out always makes him happy!

Mini posts

AARRGGHH!!!  There have been so many things to blog about the past 2 weeks that I feel a little overwhelmed.  I'll make a bunch of mini-posts now because I have to keep things organized in my mind.  :) 

Um, this would be mini-post number one.  he he

What only Moms do

Having knee surgery has proven to me that there are certainly things that only Moms do.  Ryan has been a wonderful help.  He has filled in the best he can trying to make dinner, get kids to bed, and keep some kind of order in the house in addition to taking care of me (a high needs patient).  He has had to do both a Mom and a Dad's work and I appreciate it so much.  I have noticed, though,  a few things that only Moms do best and made up a small list.

• Only Moms pick up the socks and underwear that almost made it into the dirty clothes basket and put them inside.
• Only Moms care how often you have a bath or shower.
• Only Moms look to the left AND right when doing the dishes and include the counters and stovetop.
• Only Moms care if the table is still sticky from breakfast when setting the table for dinner.
  
• Only Moms make sure kids have washed hands before dinner and after using the bathroom.
• Only Moms wipe the food off faces and fingers after dinner.
• Only Moms sweep all the way under the table and in the corners.
• Only Moms can really keep up with the laundry and get it all done! (even if it's just for a minute!)
• Only Moms know what the difference between a dishrag, dishtowel, washcloth, and rag and when to use each one.
  
• Only Moms can kiss their kids a lot.  And they are the BEST snugglers!
• Only Moms know what to do with all those papers from school.

See how much we're missed?  It's nice to be irreplaceable even if it means it will take some time to catch up with everything, right? I guess I'm just saying - we ROCK!  :)

Say what you need to say.

Okay, so I happen to really like this song by John Mayer.  And it goes along with my therapy lesson from last week.  This one was such a hard one when my therapist hit me with it.  I am still struggling with it days later.

I have grown up thinking that some people are passive, some are aggressive, and some are assertive.  I recognize that at times I can be assertive but most of the time I am passive.  I have become more passive as life has come and gone.  I'm not sure why.  I do know though that I haven't ever considered one of these a positive way or negative way to be (with the exception of being aggressive - that just has a negative connotation all around!). 

There is a right way and wrong way to be.  Our goal should be to be assertive unless a rare situation warrants otherwise.  I asked my therapist if he thought the world could exist if everyone was assertive, or did he think there had to be passive people too.  I was so surprised to learn that we could all be assertive and peacefully live on the same planet.  I obviously have not understood that being assertive is not a negative thing - in fact it's healthy!  Being passive is what is unhealthy. Here is a copy of my handout I received. 

Here's where my thoughts have come from.  I am very hesitant to say or do anything that might possibly make someone upset or hurt their feelings.  I am so afraid of causing a problem or making a wave that I just don't say anything at all.  I am finding that there have been increasing opportunities for me to stand up for myself or family and I just say nothing at all.  I do this because I know that even if I am hurt, I know how I'll react and how I'll deal with that hurt.  Saying what needs to be said is different - it puts me at risk of not agreeing or causing hurt.  I don't know how others will react.  Maybe they'll be fine.  Maybe they'll argue back.  Maybe they'll disown me and never speak to me again.  I might loose friends.  It seems too risky to me.  When I'm hurt, I keep it inside and just deal with it.  Eventually I don't think about it anymore.  But I guess stuffing it deep inside isn't really dealing with it and those hurt feelings are bound to pop back out again.  And the next time it is harder to handle those feelings.  When I read how passive people feel, I really relate.  I know those feelings!

Yet, if I had not learned this lesson I would continue to do it.  In fact the thought of possible making someone feel bad brings GUILT - ready to flood me at any moment.  Jim Shelton tells me to be ready for that guilt because it will surely happen - and that I should just let it go right on through me or roll right off me.  Eventually, I will be more confident and sure of myself and won't feel that guilt.  Being assertive isn't doing anything wrong.

Confident and successful people are assertive.  We brainstormed a few successful people that are assertive and may look up to.  President Monson and church leaders.  Do you see them not saying what needs to be said just in case they might hurt someone's feelings?  No way!  How about political leaders.  Do you see Mitt Romney, John Huntsman, or Pres. Obama not being assertive?  How about business leaders - Sheri Dew, Stephen Covey, or even your favorite doctor?  No, successful people are assertive and stand up for themselves and speak what they think in a positive way.  Of course, being tactful is essential, and there are certainly levels of appropriate assertiveness.

I am curious - how many of you are passive at times?  How hard is it for you to be assertive when you should?

Back again!

Good news!  I learned last week that "stress neutralizers" (which for me is blogging) is NOT an extra thing to do if I have time, but a priority!  Woo hoo!  Justification for doing something I love and that makes me feel relaxed every day!  (Never fear, blogging is not the only stress neutralizer I have so I'm not going to be blogging every day.)

I have been going to therapy for myself now for a couple months and have learned fascinating new things.  It's not someone telling me not to be stressed, but someone who recognizes and helps me to recognize the cause of my anxiety and at times depression and how to battle it.  (This includes the possible chemical imbalances of anxiety and depression and being sure you are taking medication for it).  I'll be posting occasionally on what I have learned in hopes to inspire the many of you who may find these teachings gems of wisdom as I have.

So, here's my lesson from last week.  In the past, doing the things I enjoy are things I get to do when the work is done.  Kind of like the rewards of the day.  If I can get all my cleaning, organizing, taking care of kids, and other work done, then I can do something 'extra' for myself.  Want to know how often I get to do something for myself.  Yeah - like NEVER.  Guess what the great news is?  I've been doing it the wrong way all this time! Here are some teachings I am learning and applying.

"Let us seek to extend the present life by observing every law of health, and by properly balancing labor, study, rest, and recreation, and thus prepare for a better life" - Brigham Young

This next section is from a handout I got that was published in Prevention magazine Feb. 2001 by Dr. Pamela Peeke, MD, 

"Here's an exercise...
Make a list of two items that must be done daily in each of these categories. (I've included some examples)

• Mental (Reading a book, talking with a friend)
• Nutrition (Eating fruits and vegetables, taking daily vitamins)
• Physical (accruing 45 minutes of walking each day, lifting weights twice a week)

Now put these basic self-care needs on your daily calendar.

Know your stress neutralizers:  Write down seven things that give you pleasure. Examples:  gardening, painting, reading, hiking, cooking.

Make sure that at least one of them appears on your daily calendar."

Patricia Holland, wife of President Jeffery R. Holland shared an experience where President Harold B. Lee shared  a prophet's counsel on order in chaos.  "An anxious physician worried that because of his profession and church responsibilities, he was neglecting his own son, asked Pres. Lee how should I handle my time?  What is most important in life?  How did I do it all?  President Lee replied:  A man's first responsibility is to himself, then his family, then to Church...  He then stressed that a man must take care of his own health, both physically and emotionally, before he can be a blessing to others."

Here are my stress neutralizers.  Gardening, sewing, exercising (even if going on a short walk), writing (blogging), making cards, reading, meditating (i'll blog about that another day), and sometimes cooking.  Last week I learned how important it is to actually PLAN IT IN to your daily schedule.  To make sure I get these in, I try to get to them first.  My day goes so much better when I am taking care of myself first.  I really can take care of others better when I am happy.  My therapist says that the best gift I can give my family is a happy mom and wife.  So, by giving to myself first, I am giving more to my family and other responsibilities.

If any of you are like me, when you feel depressed or overwhelmed, all you want to do is pull yourself inward.  I don't like to talk or socialize, I would rather hide in my bed and not deal with anything.  I have to force myself at times to get up, get going, and then follow the chart above of things that MUST be done daily - especially talking.  Poor Ryan, he hears the blunt of my tears and frustrations, but I always feel better afterwards.

I am so lucky!  I have the best therapist.  Dr. Jim Shelton is a cognitive therapist.  That basically means he teaches you how to recognize and change negative thought processes.  He teaches psychology at THS and a class at Utah State University.  He wrote a great book that I am also reading titled "Spiritual Therapy".  He is an active member of the church who has served in many leadership callings and understands the Mormon culture very well.  I come out of every session enlightened and feeling better than when I went in.  I love it and look forward to it every week.  After my first session when he told me he thought I could make my weaknesses (anxiety and depression) strengths, I just didn't believe it.  But it has been like learning a new language for me.  This has been the right thing at the right time in the right place.  :)

Check this out!

Amazing. Awesome. Love this!!!

Toilet baths

Nothing makes me run quite as fast as the happy sounds of a baby splashing in a toilet. Most of that comes because I am wishing and hoping and praying that the other 6 people in this family somehow miraculously (and if you have even one kid or husband you can relate) remembered to flush.

You know what I mean...

EEEWWW!!!

(In case you are wondering, this is not Matthew or my impeccably clean bathroom. I didn't take the time to grab my camera and click before swooping in and ruining his fun.)

Death, by Jacob

Last night, we had all my kids email my brother Daniel, who is serving a mission in Michigan. This is Jacob's letter. I just typed it as he said it, including the subject heading. Life is kicking my butt right now and I needed a laugh. I thought you might enjoy this too.

Subject: Death

Hi Dan! I am going to teach you about death. It is really bad. Like I have death sometimes. UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU. I don't have death sometimes.

I have a different sport. And I already did basketball and soccer. And I am on T-ball right now. And it is pretty good. I won some games. And it is really fun. My uniform is orange. I have a hat. Oh yeah, my team is called THE GIANTS!!! And do you like how I said it?

Now, do you like my name for T-ball? And that is it.

I love you Dan!

I hope you don't get beat up.

The end.

Jacob Passey

Snicker Salad and Mandarin Pudding Jello

Here are two recipes that I keep getting requests for. I am just going to post this so I can have it out for everyone I was supposed to get it to.

Snicker Salad
1 (5 ounce) package instant vanilla pudding mix
1 cup milk
1 (12 ounce) container frozen whipped topping, thawed
6 apples - peeled, cored, and chopped
6 (2.16 ounce) snickers bars
1/4 cup seedless grapes (optional)

Prepare the pudding using 1 cup of milk; blend together with whipped topping. Add the apples, candy bars and grapes. Mix together and refrigerate until chilled.

Orange Pudding Jello
Boil 3 c. of water then add:
1 small orange jello
1 small cook and serve Vanilla pudding
1 small tapioca pudding

Stir 2-3 minutes while cooking on medium heat. Cool at room temperature. Pour into a large bowl then add 8 oz. of Thawed cool whip and 1 can of mandarin oranges (drained). Mix together using an electric mixer and refrigerate. (I have used strawberry jello and diced strawberries too). Takes some time to set.

Yum! :)

Happy Limerick day!

I'll bet most of you didn't even know it was Limerick day! All this time we've been missing out on the fun. Here's a little about Limericks from wikiHow...

* A limerick is a short, comical, and almost musical poem that often borders on the nonsensical or obscene. It was popularized in English by Edward Lear (and thus Limerick Day is celebrated on his birthday, May 12)










There was an old man with a gong,
Who bumped at it all the day long;
But they called out, "Oh, law! you're a horrid old bore!"
So they smashed that Old Man with a gong.
-Edward Lear

Okay, so here's my try at a Limerick -












There once was a tired old Mom,
Who cleaned bathrooms and worked all day long;
Her kids tied her up tight thinking they'd do things right
So she napped while her kids sang a song.
-Diane Passey


Try it guys! It's fun and a bit therapeutic. (I'll post any good Limericks you come up with.)

The perfect Dr. Office

Alright, so I am fairly picky about my Dr. offices.

This might be because with our insurance, we pay full price for Dr. Office visits. This means I want my 80 - 100 dollars to be well spent. Trust me, there are many places that money could be going!

I am finding it harder and harder to be satisfied when I go in for a visit. Maybe I am being too picky? I certainly don't think so! It's not like Doctors are just barely making ends meet, or that the health care industry is just struggling to make it. They have a good (albeit hard at times) job with fantastic job security and pretty decent pay. (I also understand that most good doctors here in Tooele are getting ready to move into a nice huge medical office park that they are building, so they are probably a little busy with that too.)

However, here is my measly list of what I expect.

1. I want to be able to get in or get my child in same day if needed. Obviously, if the office closes at 5:00 pm and I call at 3:30 I don't expect them to squeeze me in. However, if I call in the afternoon on Monday, I don't want to wait until later Tuesday to get in.

2. I want to have the option of seeing a real live true doctor. I actually LOVE a lot of the P.A's around. They are so personable and easy to relate to. But if I want to see a certified Dr., then I should be able to without scheduling months in advance.

3. If I am on time, I don't want to have to wait a long long time to get into a room and then a long long time to be seen. I think a reasonable time to wait is 10 - 15 minutes in the main waiting room, and 5-10 minutes in the room we are seen in. I get really irritated sitting in a little warm room with no windows surrounded by white walls and little kid pictures. I don't want to touch anything, or let my kids touch anything in fear of getting exposed to more germs.

4. I want the Dr. to listen, but be thorough and efficient and keep things going.

5. When I call to ask a question (which I rarely do anymore), don't call the 19 year old medical assistants who just graduated from medical assisting school in 9 months NURSES!!! They are not nurses! I think every office should have a real true live nurse - as in an RN- to talk to if you have questions.

6. Does anyone else hate leaving messages on the "prescription refill line" or "lab test result line" or "ask a nurse a question" answering machine? I especially get annoyed when they say it may take up to 48 hours to respond. During the last pregnancy, I couldn't get a test result from a particular office. And I called and left many messages, I finally went to the office and told them I would wait in their waiting room for as long as it would take for someone to come and explain my results.

7. I expect a courteous receptionist. I want to be greeted kindly by someone who knows what they are doing. And although they have seen 50 other parents or kids there that morning, I would like them to treat me like they are appreciative of my choice to choose their office to meet our needs.

8. Last but not by any means least, I want to be able to feel like I am getting fantastic treatment. I want to know that my doctor and his staff is up to date, knowledgeable, friendly, and positive. I want to leave feeling like my money and time was well spent!

Too picky? You tell me!

My baby is 1!

I can't believe my Matthew is 1. That went way too fast. I would love to be back in the time of infant-ness when I could just hold him and rock him and he would lay on my chest (probably because he couldn't move his head - but hey, does it matter?)

It is a bittersweet day for me. I've been an emotional roller coaster ever since Ryan told me last night that the new scale we just purchased weighed different on the linoleum than on the carpet. (It added 10 pounds to my weight). And then to have my baby getting older.... well I thought I could lift my spirits by writing some birthday songs to him. I don't know which one I'll stick with.

Happy birthday to you.
You were born in a zoo.
We all smell like monkeys
And look like them too!

Happy birthday to you.
Our life would be blue.
We're so glad we have you
That's why we love you too!

Happy birthday to you.
Kids don't like your poo.
But they'll change it anyway,
because they love you! (and are threatened with the things they love the most if they don't do it!)

Hmmm... I guess I better keep working on it. Although they are all truthful, the second one is the nicest (and most boring). I need to find a good balance.

Here are a couple pictures of the time flying this past year...

This one was taken on Easter.

We love you!!!

Calling all Canadians... this is for you!

I know some great Canadians (right Oretta?) but this sure doesn't say much about how bright they really are...

(Come on, really? You mean straightening my eyelashes isn't a good idea with my flat iron that heats up to a billion degrees? So, what you are really saying is that I shouldn't touch the flat iron with my eye.
Not even slightly for a brief second. Not even to just test it to see what a sizzling eyeball feel like. )

Dang! I was hoping my kids science fair project next year would include the rate of blistering of an eye under different amounts of time with a flat iron.

Maybe I can find a Canadian who will test it for me instead. Any ideas?

The "kinda cute" baby

Picture A

Last week, I saw an ad in the local paper that Macey's was doing a cute baby picture contest.

I said out loud - "Oh look! Macey's is doing a cute baby picture contest. We should enter Matthew!"

Kristin said "Why?"

Me - "Because he is a cute baby. We have some cute pictures of him."

Kristin "Why would you enter him? He won't win. He's just not that cute. I mean he's fun and everything but he's just not, you know, very cute."

I had this little panic moment. Am I one of those parents who thinks my kid is cute and everyone else thinks "woah, that is just not a cute baby". You know the type. We've all run into them before. I might be one of those.

However, I'm going to enter his picture anyway. Just for fun. I just need some help picking a cute picture. I'll post a poll or you can just tell me which one you think is the best.

(Ryan and I love the picture I put at the top, but they have different categories and Matthew is in the 7 - 12 month category. Do you think I could still enter it, or do you think he looks too much like a baby? - it was taken last fall. I am supposed to enter a "recent" picture.)

Picture B

Picture C

Picture D

Picture E




Picture F



Picture G

Ode to Fat Cells

Ode to Fat Cells

Fat cells, you are not my friend,
You haunt me to the bitter end.
Someday I will make you see
that you should not be part of me.

Why do you fight to leave my tummy?
Staying there is just plain dummy.
I squish you into all my pants
and yet you stay and do a dance.

What do I have to say to you?
Your presence makes me oh so blue!
I drink water day and night.
No soda or sugary drinks I like.

I eat my fruits and whole grain wheat.
I like my carrots- apples are a treat!
Bananas, salad, berries rock!
Beans and peas I keep in stock.

Soy milk 'stead of juice from cow,
Give me Kashi cereals now!
Fish, chicken, low fat meat
are the staples that I eat.

Watching proteins, carbs, and dairy,
being balanced as a fairy.
Working out 5 days a week
for 90 minutes, can't be beat!

AND YET...

You stick to arms, thighs, hips, and chest.
On belly, buttocks, chin, you rest.
Thinking this is great vacation
Why can't you visit United Nations?

You must leave my body soon.
I will threaten night to noon!
You must not keep sneaking round.
Leave my torso pound by pound!

You think you win, but you will see -
the battle's just begun for me.
And with warning, I'll let you know-
you'd best pack up and get ready to GO!!!

The lone boy.

This week I was reminded of the importance of "the one".Our school does a little activity once or twice a year. This year it was called "Kick it with your kids". From 9:00 - 9:30 parents are invited to come to the elementary school and have a little breakfast with their kids while reading to them for that 30 minutes.

The intentions of this program are noble. You can imagine how excited the kids are to have their parent(s) come and read to them at their school. They get out of their classrooms and have a lot of fun.

One of the hardest things to me about this program is that there are probably close to half of the kids in the school whose parents are unable to come to the school. We live in a low income area with a few poverty areas in our school boundaries. In these areas are many single parents. There are a good number of Hispanic parents who are not fluent in any English at all. We have gangs in our area where a few of these kids parents are heavily involved in gang activity and therefore miss these opportunities.

So looking at our schools dynamics, it is easy to see how this activity is bittersweet. It is an exciting and fun time for many children at the school, and is a painful reminder to others of what they don't have. There isn't an organized place for the students left in the classrooms to go to. Some of them go with their friends to be with their friends parents, which I think is a great option. But there are some students who remain in the classrooms and quietly eat their snack at their desks.

Last year, my heart broke for the students left alone and so I went to my childrens' classrooms and gathered every kid who wanted to come to read stories with my husband and me. This year Ryan was unable to attend so I just could not go around finding children who had no where else to go, although I would grab anyone who we knew whose parents weren't there, and Rachael brought a friend from her class.

This year, sadly, at the end of a hallway, there was a little 1st grade boy. He sat with his little baggie of cereal, carton of milk, cup and spoon, in the hallway where he could see the front doors and waited for his Mom. When invited to join a group to eat and listen to a story, he refused, saying his Mom was coming and he wanted to wait for her. A few minutes later, he was asked again, and again refused. And there he sat, unopened food on his lap, watching the front door for the entire 30 minutes. When the time was up and kids started heading back to class he was still there - food unopened and untouched - looking at the front door.

My heart breaks. Maybe his Mom forgot, or wasn't able to get off work. Maybe she was sick or got tied up somewhere else. But we can imagine this little 1st graders emotion as he waited patiently and faithfully for something that did not happen. How do these poor children feel as they look around and see the lucky children happily listening to their parents or friends parents read?

Are the cons of this activity enough to outweigh the pros? Even if this affected only a handful of kids, is the negative emotion and effects of the event enough to change how this activity is done?

I believe as our society changes with poor economic times, more broken homes, more families struggling, we need to remember the few and adjust to meet the needs of all the children around us. If we continue to have these wonderful activities, we need to find a way and make an extra effort to help the children whose parents aren't there feel welcome in other group(s). To a child, this is by no way as good as having your own parent there, but it is a way to help them feel involved.

I may be over thinking all this and these children will adapt and thrive in this environment. But I, personally, wish to never see the lone child again, sitting at the end of the hallway, eyes filled with hope while he waits. Patiently.

"Copy-catting"

Oh why do they torture me so?

Here are a couple lines from Cameron from the past couple weeks. (He and Jacob are very competitive with each other and Cameron ends up being the one to tattle tale while Jacob continues to quietly bug.)

"Maa-uuum (you know, Mom said really long and whiny like), Jacob's copy-catting himself!"

"Maa-uum, Jacob's eating his cereal without stirring in the sugar!"
I should call Ryan and say :

"Ryan, I'm copy-catting myself!" when

1. I have to repeat things over and over to remember them (which I have to do sometimes),
   
2. repeat because no one's listening the first time - or second, or third, etc (the most common reason),
   
3. or repeat something because I forgot I already said it (I hope this happens rarely).

Then the kids could call Ryan and say "Daa-uud, Mom's copy-catting herself again!" And Ryan would say - "She just does that sometimes. Don't worry it eventually stops."

Someday you may be able to find me rocking in a corner in a padded cell, sucking my thumb, saying "they won't listen, they won't listen, copy-catting myself, copy-catting myself, tattle telling, tattle telling, they won't listen, they won't listen..."

hmmm... I think I am going to start making a list of all the things I copycat myself on -

• put away your clothes
• brush your teeth
• get in the suburban
  
• did you do your chore?
• HURRY! HURRY! Go FASTER! Walk in FAST MOTION! RUN!
  

I'm going to think of some other ones.

My attention span.

This morning, Matthew woke up before everyone so I sat and played with him in his room. It was funny watching him go from one toy to another one, getting distracted at the tiniest thing. It reminded me of someone...

Oh yeah, me at Walmart.

That's why Walmart can be such a dangerous store for me. It has too many things to look at, compare, try to find, on clearance, etc. Our Walmart here in Tooele is a smaller Super Walmart than most, but that almost makes it harder in ways. I know I have found a particular item at Walmart before, but can't figure out where or if our Walmart has it.

Here is a true life example of the dangers of Walmart. I have a short list- lets say bandaids, diapers, babyfood, milk, and bananas. I usually park on the drug side of Walmart, which is convenient because bandaids are on my list first. So, I head over towards the bandaid section.

Oh, look! Protein shakes in the aisle. I have looked at them at GNC and some other store so I decide to stop and compare the information, serving price, sugar and calories. I look at the different flavors. Hmmm. I think I'll keep looking around. Protein shakes reminds me of...

Deoderant. Did I write that on my list? Nope, but I am almost out and better head over and get that before I forget. I get lost for a couple minutes deciding whether to go with the traditional or something new. Why am I over in this section anyway? I look at my list. Oh yeah, bandaids. Dang, I passed it up. Gotta go back.

There's a friend! We chat for a moment. She tells me she is planting bulbs in her garden. I long to have an entire day to plant. And sew. And make cards. Man, I never have time for anything I want to do. Which reminds me, a lady in my ward said Walmart had a good price on scrapbook paper. Maybe I should go run and check it out. I'll make a mental note of that. It would be interesting to see what kinds they had, but it is on the other side of the store.

Oh, and look! There's flossers. My kids keep stealing mine so I'll grab them a package for their bathroom. I need flossers everywhere so my kids will see them and decide to floss and it will save me money in the long run.

Lets see, what else was I coming to Walmart to get? Stay on task, stay on task. Where's my list - hmmm.... Well, I remember I needed diapers. So, I go up the aisle, past the crafty section, lightbulbs (are we out anywhere?), car cleaning supplies (when's the last time Ryan had his oil changed in his truck?), camping stuff (I wonder where we should go camping this year.), exercise equipment. Stop. I would like to have a personal heart rate monitor when I work out since the ones on the machines at the Gym are wacked out sometimes and I am trying to stay in my "fat burning zone". As II look down the aisle, I notice I am standing next to the office supplies.

Oh that reminds me. Kids said their pencils at school need more lead. Back track. Find the lead. Guess on the size by looking for other pencils that look like theirs and figuring out what size those have. Do they need erasers too? I grab some just in case.

Back on track. Diapers. I walk past the toys aisle (stay on target. stay on target.) and just glance to see what movie is playing in the electronic aisle, to the baby section. To get to the diapers I walk past a clearance rack of clothes. Hmmm. Pj's. Matthew needs some long legged PJ's. Find his size (ooh and aah at the other cute clothes for babies - especially the preemie ones that I wish I needed to buy), put it in the cart. $2.00! What a great deal! I wonder if they have PJ's for my girls or Brandon on clearance too. They need some more. I head over to the kids clothing clearance racks. None for the girls that don't have High School Musical or Hannah Montana on them. Oh well. What was I doing? Oh yeah, the boys clearance aisle. There is some clearance PJ's but not in the right size. Dang.

Okay, back on track, what was I going to do? Oh yeah, Diapers. I go over grab the right size, remember that I Cameron ate all of Matthew's baby crackers and go grab some more. Oh. Easter. That's coming up. Do I have another paycheck before Easter or do I need to fit it in this one? I'd better go over and get a few things.

After going through the Easter candy section, I feel totally overwhelmed. What was I needing here? Where is that darn list? Oh wait! Here it is. Oh MAN! BANDAIDS! I forgot twice! Oh, and baby food. I was right there and forgot. Okay. Bandaids are on the opposite end of the store so I better get the other things first and I'll grab them as I head to the check stand.

I go back, grab some baby food, go get some milk, and head up to the bananas. I walk past the Easter candy aisle again and see some candy I couldn't find before. I trade some candy out, count my bags and analyze how much I have. Oh no! Matthew can't eat candy yet. I'll have to get him a little toy or something. Well, I better do that next time. I've been in Walmart already for 45 minutes and I gotta get out.

Now, what was that last thing on my list? I look for my list. And look and look. Can't find it. I look some more. Darn! I sit and think. Oh yeah, bananas. I head up, get a bunch. I am racking my brain - I know there was something else on there. I am trying really hard to remember. Oh! Scrapbook paper. I was going to check that out. I go a few aisles back and look through the section. No paper really catches my eye. But I like that glue stick. Maybe that will actually stick. I'll try that. Okay. What else did I need here today? Come on! What else was on my list? I think back through the store and I can't remember anything else so I head up to buy my stuff.

I empty my cart. I have like 35 things on there and am kicking myself for not sticking to my list (where is that darn thing?). I can't remember the last thing on my list and it is driving me nuts....

It comes to $85.00!!! UG!!! I pay, and load my bags up in the cart and head out of the store. Man, 1 1/2 hours, and $85.00 later, I get home, I unload stuff and - hey! My shopping list. It must have been stuck to the side of the milk carton. I look at the list to see what I missed...

Bandaids. It was even first! I remembered like 22 times to get them! DANG!!!

I start a new Walmart list and put bandaids on the top. I'll have to grab them another day.

Jacob-isms

We are watching one of Rachael's friends while her parents are out of town this weekend. Here is a Jacob quote (said out of the blue during dinner)...

"Kiley, you're dreamy. I want to kiss you."

Dreamy? Kissing? Where did I go wrong? And where did he get dreamy from?

He was playing battleship with my Dad a few weeks ago and after his turn he said to my Dad...

"Carry on, carry on!"

Weird. And funny.

It must be all my good parenting that makes him say such classy things.

Here is something I am trying to get used to my Junior High student saying. As he is eating breakfast at 6:30 am (I am getting a bottle ready for Matthew) he says:

"Oh, by the way, I need a three ring folder."

My heart jumps - "Oh, what for?"

"Reading. For an assignment."

Me - "You don't need it like now do you?"

"No," (I relax a moment too soon) "just by my reading class today."

Is it possible teachers tell kids they have to bring something extra to school last minute? Probably not, but that's how they are described to me. Those kids! Just wait until I have 4 asking for things last minute. I'll need a whole storage room of extra stuff that they might possibly spring on me that they need last minute. I'll be prepared for anything! :)

Addictions

We all have them right?

I have a daughter with a not so normal "nervous habit", "addiction", "tick", whatever you may call it. It is called Trichitillimania, and basically, it is a disorder where the person pulls their hair out. This can be hair on their head, arms, eyebrows, eyelashes, etc.

My daughter was diagnosed a few years ago and we went to counselor over a summer back then to help me and her learn coping techniques. Unfortunately, there aren't any counselors that specialize in Trich here in Utah, but the counselor did the best she could.

It is a disorder that will come and go for their lifetime. People who have it may not pull for months or years and then start again. Once they start, it is terribly hard to stop. I relate it to me trying to eat just one cookie, or one M&M, or reading one blog. :) And when she comes to me with tears in her eyes telling me she is pulling and just can't stop it rips my heart out because I know personally of the struggle and battle that can go on inside.

Well, she has been having problems again after 9 months of not pulling. She mainly pulls her eyelashes and eyebrows. There have been times where she has had no eyelashes and almost no eyebrows at all. She will pull them all out. Right now, her eyelashes are gone on the top lids, and nearly gone on the bottom lids. Her eyebrows are patchy. This is the first time she has had a problem during school. She begged me this morning to let her stay home and cried yesterday as she realized after a day of pulling at school that kids might notice and say something to her.

I can't tell you how worried I was that kids would tease her today. But she came home and said no one said anything to her. How I pray the kids will be nice. It's so hard to tell if 3rd graders will even notice. We are working on coping techniques and what to do when she starts to feel like pulling. We went inside the school yesterday and talked to her teacher to get her teacher involved which was really hard for my daughter because she is so embarrassed when it happens. But I can't be there when she is in school to help her when she feels the urge and my daughter needed someone she could talk to. Her teacher was very loving, nice, and supportive. I really appreciated it.

Now we pray for the eyelashes to grow back, and grow back fast. It is hard to see her big eyes without anything there. It will take at least a month before there will be noticeable lashes there and I just need her friends to keep being her friend and like her no matter what. The things we pray for for our kids. This is one of the things that makes parenting so hard. I hate seeing my kids go through stuff. I wish I could take it all away... (especially when I am the one who gave her the anxiety gene in the first place!) I realize kids- especially now- need to be strong for all that they will encounter in the future. It is just so difficult to watch. And as they get older, the harder it is. I can't imagine what it will be like in another 5 years. I don't think I'll ever get used to it or that it will get any easier. But things will be okay. I will trust that the Lord will not give my children challenges they cannot handle - and lets face it - we want our kids to be tough, right?

The forgotten anniversary

So, Ryan went to Roundtable last night and came home with a frosty and a card for me. How thoughtful! I read the card and said it was cute and then started eating my yummy frosty. He asked if I 'got' the card. I said I read it. I picked it up again and still didn't see anything special. He showed me the 'happy 15th anniversary' on the inside.

Now, not our wedding anniversary - just so you know. But the anniversary of our first date. He seems to remember it every year and I forget. But hey, that's kind of sweet. 15 years from our first date.

Our first date was a Heritage Halls Invitational (on campus single student housing) dance. He asked me a couple days before and I was really excited. I had been flirting for awhile, but was determined not to be the first one to ask him out. So, I waited and one of my roommates had to tell him he should ask me to the dance, but he did!

I wore this red dress - it wasn't very fancy. He made stroganoff at his apartment. We ate there and then headed over to the dance. We danced for awhile and then took a walk around campus and went home. It was a pretty nice evening. I remember standing over one of the bridges and looking up at the stars in the sky and the lights of Provo. We liked to walk up to the bell tower too and look at the view from there. It's kind of funny the perspective you have on life when looking down from up high. Man, the simplicity! I miss that.

We went home and parted our separate ways. I don't think there was even a hug. Funny. :)

This picture is of another dance a few months later...

I knew pretty early on in our relationship that Ryan was still trying to figure out what to do for a career. He told me his dad was in the air force and I KNEW I didn't want to live that kind of life - moving from one place to another and never really settling. The thought of moving to an unknown place every few years was pretty unnerving. I had gone to the same elementary school in South Jordan and moved in 8th grade to another house in Sandy where my parents still live. My little brothers have lived their whole life in the same house.

Anyway, I told Ryan I wouldn't ever marry anyone in the airforce to avoid that kind of life. When I told him, I could tell that that put him into some deep thought.

The funny thing is this... We got married in April 1995, moved to Maryland January 1999 (3 1/2 years later). We lived in Maryland for 2 years, moved in December of 2001. We lived at my parents house for about 15 months and moved to Logan in 2002. Ryan went to grad school there and we moved after 3 years to Tooele in May 2005. Now, we've been here for almost 4 years. Ryan is a finalist for a job in Rexburg. It occured to me that if we were to move again, that even though my great efforts to grow deep roots, we would once again be uprooting and starting over. Now, we knew when we bought this house that it would not be our forever house, but the longer we're here and the older the kids get, the harder it is to move.

Rachael asked me last week if she had any friends she had known since she was little. She said a couple of her friends had these best friends that they knew since they were babies and wished she had some friends like that. I wasn't sure what to say to that. Since then, I have thought that the perfect thing to say is that she has lots of friends in many different places. That is cool that she gets to know and live in so many different places.

Here are a few older pictures I dug up and scanned in for old times sake to look back at the different stages in our life.

The infamous Love statue. Ryan and I were engaged.

Newly married, I am pregnant with Brandon

Our BYU apartment

Kristin's blessing in Maryland

Ryan's graduation from USU

Two years ago here in Tooele

I wonder where and when our next adventure will be...

Free torture

That's what I call the most recent gum graft I had yesterday. It was a 'readjustment' of a previous graft so really, it hasn't been too bad. There was no charge since it was a readjustment, thus the free torture part. The pain and swelling has been less than the other two times and the pain has been controlled easily by my prescribed meds. I had to sit ice on my face for an hour or so last night and will have to do it again this afternoon after having some friends come over and make me laugh. (The good laugh was all worth it though!)

My biggest complaint is that I am HUNGRY. I was fed cold mashed potatoes last night by my sweet husband and some pudding and jello and the remainder of Cameron's day old yogurt that had been sitting out for about that long. I slurped the broth out of the rest of my families soup bowls (soup was courtesy of a great neighbor), and looked at the homemade bread and chocolate cookies longingly.

I hope Ryan will make up for the potatoes and bring me a shake today. I could use it! I have been swallowing blood now for over 24 hours and it has made my throat sore and I am so tired of the taste of it. Blech! I need the roof of my mouth to stop bleeding so I can just swallow normal spit and not worry that my clear plastic retainer has blood pooled in the front to gross people out everytime I open my mouth. Kind of looks like an evil halloween scene when I smile. How does Dracula do it?

And I apologize again and again to Julie Campbell for flinging spit on her when I took out the retainer. That was totally gross and although she said she is used to gross things at her house, nothing really compares to an adult neighbor's bloody spit flying from my mouth to her face. I owe her big time for that. Maybe a big dark chocolate cake? I am so so sorry!!!

My food storage tips.

So, our ward is doing a push on Food Storage this year.


I know, food storage - kind of an overwhelming huge project that most of us probably don't ever expect to have complete in our lifetime.

Why do we find it so overwhelming? I have NO idea! Gathering is cheap, easy, and convenient. Lets break this down and analyze it together.

1. Grains needed for our family (for a year) - a mere 2400 pounds. Legumes (which we just LOVE to eat - "beans beans the magical fruit" who doesn't love magic?) an additional 480 pounds.
Now people, is that too much for me to gather? Of course not! Not only can I gather, but I can STORE that much rice, wheat, and oats easily! Here's how...

• Create all your furniture out of food storage. After all, my guests won't mind sitting on a bucket instead of a chair. I mean, come on! Isn't it being a little too picky to complain that our table is actually a board balanced on top of 4 50 gallon buckets? If you want a counter height table, just stack the buckets double height - so that would be 8 per table instead.

• Who cares if our pillows and couch cushions are stuffed with rice and beans. I purposefully don't want to create a not so comfy environment because after all, we don't want people to think they can actually sit and stay for awhile. With wheat to grind, who has time for a social life anyway? Plus if a disaster happened and there were people over, we would be EXPECTED to share and we only have a 12 month supply for us. There is none to spare!
  

• To make things easier, lets just calculate for a moment how much 2400 pounds of grains are for us. Lets say we get everything in 50 pound buckets. (because the buckets will be doubling as chairs and tables and bed frames so it is convenient that way). That is only 48 buckets. Add another 10 for the legumes and that means each person must have 6 buckets in their room (there's 30), 9 in the living room, 9 in the family room, one in each bathroom (lets see that gets us up to 50), And the last 10 buckets can be used in the kitchen. See, look how easy!
  

2. Water requirements. We have been told we need at the bare minimum a 2 week water supply. FEMA advises a gallon per person per day MINIMUM. 8 times 14 - that's 112 gallons of water. We've decided that diversifying our water containers make it easier to store so much. We have one big blue 50 gallon container in the front yard, and then will either store 130, 418 water bottles or buy 35 boxes of water to store in each person's closet. Important things to note:

• You must recycle or empty out your big water storage once a year. Easy! Just store your barrel in the basement (not on concrete or they say your water will taste like concrete) and then when that yearly mark comes along, get a hand pump, and a couple pans. Pump water into the pans and have your kids take their pans upstairs, through the kitchen and carefully pour all the water in the garden and go back down for more. I figure if we get 1/2 gallon in each pan, that would only be 224 trips up stairs. If it takes 20 pumps to pump a half gallon of water, then that means you would only have to pump 4480 pumps.
  

• Make sure you dump lots of chlorine in your water container. Most people do this with bleach. And using lemon scented bleach will NOT create a fresh lemon tasting water. Mountain Spring scented bleach will NOT make your water taste like it came from a mountain spring. You want the basic plain bleach. If you want your water to taste like anything, you want it to taste like a swimming pool. Doesn't the smell of pool water just make you want to jump in and take a drink when you go swimming?

3. Now lets talk fruit and veggies. 12 months is no big deal. Here's what I suggest.

• During your next case lot sale, borrow your neighbor's suburban and trailer and just sit out by the trucking dock of your grocery store. As the truck backs in, just instruct the workers to load all the cans of food into your vehicle and trailer. If you do this every evening when the store receives its next shipment, you should get your requirement in no time.

• Don't forget to garden and can everything in your backyard. Dandelions make excellent stew. Don't bother washing your fruit and veggies before bottling them. You will be glad there is a bug here and there because it will give you extra protein.

4. Sugars - the best advice I can give:

• Get LOTS! And when you think you have enough, get more. Can you ever have enough sugar? I think not! How else are you going to get those beans to taste good?

• Become a bee keeper. That way you will have bees on hand and they will have fresh honey for you whenever you get a hankering...
  

5. Cleaning supplies, clothing, toiletries.

• Well, I hear toilet paper makes good blankets if you get the 'quilted' kind. That way you can make your kids blankets with it, stuffed with it instead of batting. And when the need comes, all the kid needs to do is rip a piece of blanket off or use a corner - whatever is convenient. You never have to wash the blanket either. Very handy indeed.

• You can also glue TP or paper towels together to make clothing. Again, the convenience is priceless. Plus it kills 2 birds with one stone. You don't have to do laundry so you can cut back on your laundry soap. Two great benefits! Your kids won't grow out of the clothing before it is used anyway. My experience is my kids wipe their noses and mouths on their sleeves regardless of what they are wearing. Might as well make it okay to do.
  

As you can see, gathering a years supply is not as overwhelming a task as it may seem. We can do it! If you set aside a meager $1200 dollars a month and follow my sound advice, you will have a house full of food storage items in no time at all! It may not have room for people or anything else, but you will have your food storage!


p.s. Some people think you have to actually use the food you are storing. This is impossible since if you are USING the food you'll never get your supply up. They call this rotating your food storage. Don't get caught up in their scam. Rotating it REALLY means, turning the can a quarter of a turn every couple decades. Stamp the date you last rotated it and you'll be just fine!

p.p.s. Make sure you have a gun so that if you forgot to store something, you can still get it from someone else.