Okay parents. Tell me what you would do.
So, Rachael shares a bunk bed with Kristin. They have the biggest room in the house, but the ceiling is very low so Rachael who is on the top bunk has about 18 inch clearance from her mattress to the ceiling. Today she was remaking her bed after washing her sheets and comforter. Her blanket wouldn't get tucked in perfectly, so apparently she laid on her bed and kicked the ceiling (just lightly according to her). And yes, kicked a hole in the ceiling. The hole is about the size of a softball and isn't all the way through the sheet rock. But it is definitely a good crack. She came and told me about it (which was good since sometimes I find these surprises well after they happen) and so I have to give her credit for that.
What would be a good punishment? I took a love and logic class once and they teach that punishments should match the crime. For example, if one of my kids hits his brother, I duct tape his arm to his side for the rest of his life. Or cut it off. Something like that. So, a natural punishment to Rachael's deed could be to...
a. make her patch the ceiling and then retexturize it and repaint it. (pros - it fits the crime. cons - I have to be okay with a shoddy job and it will take a great deal of patience to help her fix it.)
b. cut her foot off (pros - she won't be able to kick another hole with that foot. cons - it would probably be considered child abuse)
c. make her pay for the supplies for fixing the hole. (pros - it will definitely bother her to have to do this. cons - she only earns $5.00 a month for allowance and has been saving it since her birthday to go in with Kristin and buy a gameboy and it kills me to have to take from their fund.)
d. ground her for life (pros - that will teach her. cons - that will teach me too. Is grounding really that smart for a parent to do? Do you really want your kid around you ALL day - especially grumpy and bored? I use this punishment very sparingly.)
e. ground her until the ceiling is fixed. (oh wait, that could be a year or more... see above pros and cons)
Do you have other good punishments? You can leave them in the comments section. Also, vote on your favorite in the left margin.
:)
(attitude check: instead of thinking "Man now here's another thing to add to our fix list, and I haven't patched a ceiling before! I don't want to have to try to retexture and all that. It better not need to be re-sheetrocked!"
I will think this: "Thank heavens I have children to teach me patience and important self reliance skills so that by the time they are raised, I will be able to build my own house with my own hands! I am learning so much thanks to those little angels!")
4 comments:
Okay, so my thoughts turned to what I think my parents would have done when I was a kid. I don't think they would do anything. I don't know if thats just because I was one of those kids who would not repeat the offense and they knew that I would learn from it, or if they were passive about those things or just super patient. Is it something you think she would do again in a fit of frustration or do you think she learned by just having the experience? I remember when I wrecked my car when I was fifteen. I had gone off campus to lunch (which was against the rules)and stuffed 8 of my friends in a Camry (which is just plain stupid!) My punishment was merely that I couldn't drive to school for a month (which I didn't want to do anyway because I was scared) They didn't make me pay for the repair or the ticket I got. They didn't make me suffer by being mad at me for an extended period of time. They just showed me love. I couldn't believe it. Actually at first I was somewhat incredulous but after that I just had a desire to please them and not hurt them again.
Now I'm not saying this is the solution for you. You know your own kids better and you know what effect each punishment will have on them. But I guess my advice would be to give her the consequence that will help her grow the most.
I have no advise, SORRY!! Good luck w/ that one:)
A great punishment for my kids would be having to live with the natural consequence. Now you have an ugly ceiling you have to look at every night. Thats what happens when you get frustrated and kick the ceiling, a great reminder not to do it again...and you don't have to fix it. Though that might drive you crazy. Just a thought.
You know your children best Diane. I might give her a few extra jobs to pay for it. It isn't that expensive to fix. We just fixed a hole in a wall, and the patch kit was 2 or 3 dollars, spackle is a couple, but you might already have that. The pros just texture by dabbing it with their finger. Then, I might have them help me with it, or better yet, watch the other kids while I fix it. You know her best. I am sure it will work out.
Tami :-)
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