Back again!

Good news!  I learned last week that "stress neutralizers" (which for me is blogging) is NOT an extra thing to do if I have time, but a priority!  Woo hoo!  Justification for doing something I love and that makes me feel relaxed every day!  (Never fear, blogging is not the only stress neutralizer I have so I'm not going to be blogging every day.)

I have been going to therapy for myself now for a couple months and have learned fascinating new things.  It's not someone telling me not to be stressed, but someone who recognizes and helps me to recognize the cause of my anxiety and at times depression and how to battle it.  (This includes the possible chemical imbalances of anxiety and depression and being sure you are taking medication for it).  I'll be posting occasionally on what I have learned in hopes to inspire the many of you who may find these teachings gems of wisdom as I have.

So, here's my lesson from last week.  In the past, doing the things I enjoy are things I get to do when the work is done.  Kind of like the rewards of the day.  If I can get all my cleaning, organizing, taking care of kids, and other work done, then I can do something 'extra' for myself.  Want to know how often I get to do something for myself.  Yeah - like NEVER.  Guess what the great news is?  I've been doing it the wrong way all this time! Here are some teachings I am learning and applying.

"Let us seek to extend the present life by observing every law of health, and by properly balancing labor, study, rest, and recreation, and thus prepare for a better life" - Brigham Young

This next section is from a handout I got that was published in Prevention magazine Feb. 2001 by Dr. Pamela Peeke, MD, 

"Here's an exercise...
Make a list of two items that must be done daily in each of these categories. (I've included some examples)

• Mental (Reading a book, talking with a friend)
• Nutrition (Eating fruits and vegetables, taking daily vitamins)
• Physical (accruing 45 minutes of walking each day, lifting weights twice a week)

Now put these basic self-care needs on your daily calendar.

Know your stress neutralizers:  Write down seven things that give you pleasure. Examples:  gardening, painting, reading, hiking, cooking.

Make sure that at least one of them appears on your daily calendar."

Patricia Holland, wife of President Jeffery R. Holland shared an experience where President Harold B. Lee shared  a prophet's counsel on order in chaos.  "An anxious physician worried that because of his profession and church responsibilities, he was neglecting his own son, asked Pres. Lee how should I handle my time?  What is most important in life?  How did I do it all?  President Lee replied:  A man's first responsibility is to himself, then his family, then to Church...  He then stressed that a man must take care of his own health, both physically and emotionally, before he can be a blessing to others."

Here are my stress neutralizers.  Gardening, sewing, exercising (even if going on a short walk), writing (blogging), making cards, reading, meditating (i'll blog about that another day), and sometimes cooking.  Last week I learned how important it is to actually PLAN IT IN to your daily schedule.  To make sure I get these in, I try to get to them first.  My day goes so much better when I am taking care of myself first.  I really can take care of others better when I am happy.  My therapist says that the best gift I can give my family is a happy mom and wife.  So, by giving to myself first, I am giving more to my family and other responsibilities.

If any of you are like me, when you feel depressed or overwhelmed, all you want to do is pull yourself inward.  I don't like to talk or socialize, I would rather hide in my bed and not deal with anything.  I have to force myself at times to get up, get going, and then follow the chart above of things that MUST be done daily - especially talking.  Poor Ryan, he hears the blunt of my tears and frustrations, but I always feel better afterwards.

I am so lucky!  I have the best therapist.  Dr. Jim Shelton is a cognitive therapist.  That basically means he teaches you how to recognize and change negative thought processes.  He teaches psychology at THS and a class at Utah State University.  He wrote a great book that I am also reading titled "Spiritual Therapy".  He is an active member of the church who has served in many leadership callings and understands the Mormon culture very well.  I come out of every session enlightened and feeling better than when I went in.  I love it and look forward to it every week.  After my first session when he told me he thought I could make my weaknesses (anxiety and depression) strengths, I just didn't believe it.  But it has been like learning a new language for me.  This has been the right thing at the right time in the right place.  :)