What I learned today.

I have been trying a lot harder than in years past to get my kids to clean and do a good job. I was even so proud that I found a significant job for Cameron, my 4 year old to do. When someone vacuums, he loves to look around and find little things that person missed. So, for a few months now, I have been having him use the hose of the vacuum and go around the edges and in spaces that somehow get missed and have him vacuum up the 'gucks' - we call them.

I learned my lesson today.

When I went to vacuum the edges of my room, I turned the switch on the vacuum to "hose" and heard a funny noise. I turned off the vacuum and found the hose was clogged. Upon further inspection, the hose had A LOT of stuff in it - that obviously shouldn't have been in it. I unhooked one side and Ryan and I took several minutes shaking out the stuff with Cameron watching. Here is what came out.
Following a hunch I ask Cameron - "Did you vacuum up all these Magnetix?"

"Yes"

Wow. And a dinosaur lego head, and a mini lightsaber, and a small bouncy ball, and some paper and unidentified food, and some dust.

I think the lesson might have been better learned if I had not then run and got my camera to take a picture for this blog.

Oh well. We told him not to do it again, and little does he know, that he just lost his 'vacuum things with a hose' privilege. At least today. (Who knows what can get sucked up! Have I been missing anything lately...?)



Lesson learned :)

Three down, two to go!

I just dropped my girls off at their first day of school. Basically, it went off without any major hitch, though somehow they reverted back to their terrible behavior from last year. There have definitely had worse days, but they have had much better too.

Anyway, yesterday was Brandon's first day, but today is really the first official day of school since yesterday was just for the 7th graders. Here is how my conversation with my pre-teen 12 year old went...

"Hey Brandon! How was school today?"

"Good!"

"Tell me about it."

"Ummm, okay...."

Silence

"How were your classes? Did you find them okay?"

"Yes. Some of them were a little hard but it went okay. I found them all."

"Great! Did you get a locker?"

"No. I get one tomorrow."

"Did you know anyone in your classes?"

"No."

"You didn't have any friends in any of your classes?"

"Well, I think I had a couple in one of my classes."

"Oh, that's great! Who?"

"How am I supposed to know that? I don't know!"

(I think - ummm you go to your classes and see who is there -)

"Okay. Did you meet your principal or vice principal?"

"No."

"Did lunch go okay?"

"Yeah, we had pizza and a capri sun."

"Did everything go well with your lunch account?"

"I don't have a lunch account."

"Ummm - yes you do. I put a whole lot of money on it."

"Well, if I have one I didn't use it."

"How did you buy lunch then?"

"They just gave it to me."

"Anything else?"

"No. Are you done?"

"Yep, I guess so."

So, Ryan asked Brandon how things went later - Brandon began talking up a storm and told him he had an assembly yesterday ("I thought you didn't meet your principal and vice principal. Weren't they there?" I ask him. "Yes. I didn't MEET them, I just saw them at the assembly." (of course - why didn't I think of that?). And he told Ryan about a candy bar he won in a class. He also told us that his Pre Algebra class has - 38 kids in it. (38 kids? What is that all about? An advanced math class with 38 kids and one teacher? What were they thinking?) He tells Ryan about his teachers and classes. Obviously Ryan will have to be the communicator with Brandon right now. Odd considering how much men communicate. But I guess that is why it is important to have a Mom AND Dad in the home. At least I got some out of him. Who knows how much he will want to tell me in a couple of months...

Anyway, after attitudes and my morning has come and gone, I wonder at how this school year is really going to go. I was up at 6:25 to make breakfast (we were out of milk so they couldn't have cold cereal) and get going. To get kids ready in time to take the girls to school was constant activity and I didn't even get the boys ready. They had clothing and shoes, but Jacob will be going to AM kindergarten and Cameron has to be in preschool by 8:30 - 5 minutes before the girls and Jake have to be at school. Wow. I am thinking I will be getting up at 6:15 - and that isn't even accounting for scripture study or a bad Matthew day!!! AAAHHHH!!! Welcome to the real world, right?

Why Family Home Evening?

Okay, does anyone else wonder why you do family home evening? I know WHY (we are supposed to) but I don't know WHY if you know what I mean. One of my friends said that you never know when something you say or teach will sink into one of the kids so you do it and hope someone is getting it. I have though about this a lot. I have 6 kids and so the chances are that one of them might actually be listening and getting something out of it. At least that is what I tell myself as I grit my teeth on Monday nights. Last night is a great example of why I feel this way...

We start off singing "We thank thee O God for a prophet" which is a great song. But Ryan wanted to sing all 3 verses so after the first verse, we got out the extra hymn book and tried to situate it so everyone who didn't know it could sing. Rachael was already mad so she was rolled up in a ball on the couch and wouldn't even look at the book. In fact, she was bugged that Kristin was even trying to share it with her. I only had Kristin sit by her for half of a verse. Then we stop, have Kristin move over to share with Brandon. But Brandon is trying to follow Ryan who is getting the verses mixed up and kind of making things up as he goes. Cameron is 'leading' and Jacob is walking around the coffee table.

During the lesson, (which lasted maybe 15 minutes) kids are participating as little as possible, walking around, trying to sleep on the couch, bugging the kid next to them, throwing markers at other kids, and playing with Matthew. At one point I stop everything and announce that I am the only one listening to Rachael's part (Rachael has decided to sit up to read her section). And I really was. Everyone else, including my significant other (he was holding up Matthew with one hand above his head talking to him) was doing something else. By the end, I am getting groans as we sing the 12 apostles last names in order to the tune of 10 little indians. (we are trying to memorize them).

We get through closing prayer, and announce that our activity is weeding the garden (it's good for the kids to weed every once in a while). Everyone has to pull 40 weeds and then 10 extra for Matthew since Matthew can't weed yet. Rachael runs into the bathroom crying and slams the door. Jacob runs into his room and climbs on his bed crying (he is still angry because we wouldn't let him play his gameboy during FHE). Kristin yells and slams a few doors saying nothing is worth getting ice cream at the end because she "hates" ice cream. Ryan goes outside happy as a clam (he likes the garden) and Matthew is crying because he has a tummy ache. Eventually, the kids make it outside with a garbage bag to collect their weeds in. Rachael is the last to head out after staying in the bathroom for 10 minutes. Jacob goes out shortly before yelling that everyone is being mean to him.

The kids each pull 40 weeds in about 2 minutes and come in for ice cream. Everyone ate ice cream except the girls (they don't like it and were still rebelling) and so I sent them to bed early.

So does that sound like there is any significant learning involved? I sat in the house and paced the hallway with Matthew as the kids were weeding trying to get him to stop fussing and thinking that there must be someone else out there who has less than perfect FHE's. I would love to hear that it is all worth it in the end. Sometimes we have a kid or two sitting backwards on the couch before we even start because they don't want to be there. I figure they can be in the room so they can at least hear what is going on even if they don't want to participate. And even though we could all sit on our couch and love seat, no one wants to touch each other or they DO want to sit close to another kid so they can bug them. Often times, someone is trying to lay down on the couch or floor so they can "sleep" instead of participating.

I remember having FHE when the three older were little. They were fun. Much less complicated. We played sink or float (with a bowl of water and random objects to test to see if they sink or float). We sang primary songs and had a little lesson with stuffed animals or little people about being nice or sharing. Maybe we should revert our lessons back to the good old days....

The hole in the ceiling....

Okay parents. Tell me what you would do.

So, Rachael shares a bunk bed with Kristin. They have the biggest room in the house, but the ceiling is very low so Rachael who is on the top bunk has about 18 inch clearance from her mattress to the ceiling. Today she was remaking her bed after washing her sheets and comforter. Her blanket wouldn't get tucked in perfectly, so apparently she laid on her bed and kicked the ceiling (just lightly according to her). And yes, kicked a hole in the ceiling. The hole is about the size of a softball and isn't all the way through the sheet rock. But it is definitely a good crack. She came and told me about it (which was good since sometimes I find these surprises well after they happen) and so I have to give her credit for that.

What would be a good punishment? I took a love and logic class once and they teach that punishments should match the crime. For example, if one of my kids hits his brother, I duct tape his arm to his side for the rest of his life. Or cut it off. Something like that. So, a natural punishment to Rachael's deed could be to...

a. make her patch the ceiling and then retexturize it and repaint it. (pros - it fits the crime. cons - I have to be okay with a shoddy job and it will take a great deal of patience to help her fix it.)
b. cut her foot off (pros - she won't be able to kick another hole with that foot. cons - it would probably be considered child abuse)
c. make her pay for the supplies for fixing the hole. (pros - it will definitely bother her to have to do this. cons - she only earns $5.00 a month for allowance and has been saving it since her birthday to go in with Kristin and buy a gameboy and it kills me to have to take from their fund.)
d. ground her for life (pros - that will teach her. cons - that will teach me too. Is grounding really that smart for a parent to do? Do you really want your kid around you ALL day - especially grumpy and bored? I use this punishment very sparingly.)
e. ground her until the ceiling is fixed. (oh wait, that could be a year or more... see above pros and cons)

Do you have other good punishments? You can leave them in the comments section. Also, vote on your favorite in the left margin.

:)

(attitude check: instead of thinking "Man now here's another thing to add to our fix list, and I haven't patched a ceiling before! I don't want to have to try to retexture and all that. It better not need to be re-sheetrocked!"
I will think this: "Thank heavens I have children to teach me patience and important self reliance skills so that by the time they are raised, I will be able to build my own house with my own hands! I am learning so much thanks to those little angels!")

My attitude

I am finding it essential to have a good attitude when things don't go as planned. Mostly because this life I am living is not like I imagined it to be! Here are some examples of how I am trying to change my thinking.

Situation: Cameron drawing on Matthew's head with permanent blue marker
Attitude: Oh thank heavens he drew on something that will eventually wash off!

Situation: Chopping the end of my finger off at the Spruces campground after 5 hours of preparation, 2 hours of driving, and only being there for about 2 hours!
Attitude: I am so grateful I didn't chop my hand or more of my finger off! That could have been much worse. How lucky I am that I have reached my insurance out of pocket maximum this year and so I can just go to the emergency room and sit in peace for 4 hours! Since I won't get back until 1:00 in the morning, I can look at the stars as I park my car outside the campground and walk back to the tent! It will be so nice and peaceful.

Situation: A pitcher of Tang falling of the counter and hitting the floor splashing tang up the side of the cupboards on the island and floor.
Attitude: How lucky am I that the cupboards caught the Tang before it could splash across the rest of the kitchen! Now the tang is in a several square feet section instead of a long skinny section across my entire kitchen!

Situation: My kids putting their clean clothes in the hamper and their dirty clothes back in their drawer when they get lazy.
Attitude: What a great opportunity to teach them how to do their own laundry.

Situation: Our abundant crop of grasshoppers out here in Tooele eating our garden and my raspberries.
Attitude: Hey, at least I won't have as many plants to pull up this year when the garden is finished! And the plants I have left will be a lot smaller than they would have been!

Situation: My girls cat-fighting in Maceys parking lot
Attitude: Look how well they will be able to defend themselves when they are on a date in a few years! And they didn't have to take Karate to be able to fight like that! I am so lucky they are so talented.

Situation: Squash bugs running rampant in our garden destroying some squash plants and attempting to destroy all of the plants!
Attitude: I am so grateful for spiders. I wish we had a lot more in our garden!

Situation: Our swamp cooler breaking. When trying to replace it, having bolts rusted to themselves.
Attitude: Ryan and I know how to completely gut out a swamp cooler and replace the parts with other used swamp cooler parts. We got to learn about a new tool - the cold chisel. And using a drill on the roof during a rainstorm to try to drill out screws was so romantic! It only took us 3 days to get it working!

Situation: Matthew pooping up his back often - most of his onesies are now stained.
Attitude: I am so glad he gets most of his poop on his onesies which I'll probably throw away when he is done anyway! Isn't orange a nice color to add to these? Better orange than brown!

Isn't my attitude getting better?