Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Being assertive lesson 2

Since being assertive is something I am still working on, my therapy lesson focused on it again and I got this great worksheet I thought I would share since some of you have been asking about being assertive and passive.  My assignment is to pick a few of the situations listed and be assertive.  There are a bunch so I'll just list what I think is the most relevant. 

  1. Asking a favor of someone
  2. Resisting sales pressure
  3. Telling a person I am intimately involved with that he/she has said or done something that bothers me
  4. Admitting ignorance in an area being discussed
  5. Turning down a friends request to borrow money
  6. Turning off a talkative friend
  7. Asking for constructive criticism
  8. Asking for clarification when I am confused about what someone has said
  9. Asking whether I have offended someone
  10. Requesting expected service when it hasn't been offered (e.g. in a restaurant)
  11. Expressing an opinion that differs from that of a person I am talking with
  12. Telling someone how I feel if he/she has done something that is unfair to me
  13. Turning down a social invitation from someone I don't particularly like
  14. Resisting an unfair demand from a person who is important to me
  15. Requesting a return of borrowed items
  16. Telling a friend or co-worker when he/she says or does something that bothers me
  17. Asking a person who is annoying me in a public situation to stop (e.g. smoking on a bus)
  18. Criticizing a friend
  19. Criticizing my spouse
  20. Asking someone for help or advice
  21. Expressing my love to someone
  22. Asking to borrow something
  23. Giving my opinion when a group is discussing an important matter
  24. Taking a definite stand on a controversial issue
  25. When two friends are arguing, supporting the one I agree with
  26. Expressing my opinion to someone I don't know very well
  27. Interrupting someone to ask him/her to repeat something I didn't hear clearly
  28. Contradicting someone when I think I might hurt him/her by doing so
  29. Telling someone that he/she has disappointed me or let me down
  30. Asking someone to leave me alone
  31. Telling a friend or co-worker that he/she has done a good job
  32. Telling someone he/she has made a good point in a discussion
  33. Telling someone I have enjoyed talking with him/her
  34. Complimenting someone on his/her skill or creativity
When we went over this list, some of these things really surprised me as being assertive.  I can see them now, but I wouldn't have thought of being assertive in those situations. 

Are any of these hard for you guys?

3 comments:

Esther said...

Pretty much most of them are hard for me, but I'm getting better :)

Six-Pack Momma said...

Um was that list written for me? I have gotten better at some things...and I don't think Randy likes it. ;)

Tami said...

That is quite the list. I think some are easier than others. My trial has been learning how to say it nicely when I finally do get the nerve to speak up. Sometimes it just spills out and it is a little too blunt. I have to say I am getting better as I am getting older. Especially when I complain to a store or service, my favorite line, in a very pleasant voice is, "I'm sorry, that is unacceptable." Then a big pause for them to figure out how they are going to make it acceptable for me. :-)
But when it comes to family members who hurt my feelings, I usually walk away and avoid the whole situation. I do that most of the time with confrontation unless I think it is worth sticking up for. It takes a lot, let me tell ya.