The lone boy.

This week I was reminded of the importance of "the one".Our school does a little activity once or twice a year. This year it was called "Kick it with your kids". From 9:00 - 9:30 parents are invited to come to the elementary school and have a little breakfast with their kids while reading to them for that 30 minutes.

The intentions of this program are noble. You can imagine how excited the kids are to have their parent(s) come and read to them at their school. They get out of their classrooms and have a lot of fun.

One of the hardest things to me about this program is that there are probably close to half of the kids in the school whose parents are unable to come to the school. We live in a low income area with a few poverty areas in our school boundaries. In these areas are many single parents. There are a good number of Hispanic parents who are not fluent in any English at all. We have gangs in our area where a few of these kids parents are heavily involved in gang activity and therefore miss these opportunities.

So looking at our schools dynamics, it is easy to see how this activity is bittersweet. It is an exciting and fun time for many children at the school, and is a painful reminder to others of what they don't have. There isn't an organized place for the students left in the classrooms to go to. Some of them go with their friends to be with their friends parents, which I think is a great option. But there are some students who remain in the classrooms and quietly eat their snack at their desks.

Last year, my heart broke for the students left alone and so I went to my childrens' classrooms and gathered every kid who wanted to come to read stories with my husband and me. This year Ryan was unable to attend so I just could not go around finding children who had no where else to go, although I would grab anyone who we knew whose parents weren't there, and Rachael brought a friend from her class.

This year, sadly, at the end of a hallway, there was a little 1st grade boy. He sat with his little baggie of cereal, carton of milk, cup and spoon, in the hallway where he could see the front doors and waited for his Mom. When invited to join a group to eat and listen to a story, he refused, saying his Mom was coming and he wanted to wait for her. A few minutes later, he was asked again, and again refused. And there he sat, unopened food on his lap, watching the front door for the entire 30 minutes. When the time was up and kids started heading back to class he was still there - food unopened and untouched - looking at the front door.

My heart breaks. Maybe his Mom forgot, or wasn't able to get off work. Maybe she was sick or got tied up somewhere else. But we can imagine this little 1st graders emotion as he waited patiently and faithfully for something that did not happen. How do these poor children feel as they look around and see the lucky children happily listening to their parents or friends parents read?

Are the cons of this activity enough to outweigh the pros? Even if this affected only a handful of kids, is the negative emotion and effects of the event enough to change how this activity is done?

I believe as our society changes with poor economic times, more broken homes, more families struggling, we need to remember the few and adjust to meet the needs of all the children around us. If we continue to have these wonderful activities, we need to find a way and make an extra effort to help the children whose parents aren't there feel welcome in other group(s). To a child, this is by no way as good as having your own parent there, but it is a way to help them feel involved.

I may be over thinking all this and these children will adapt and thrive in this environment. But I, personally, wish to never see the lone child again, sitting at the end of the hallway, eyes filled with hope while he waits. Patiently.