I've been going back to the gym. It's a careful balance for me. I have bad cartilage behind my kneecaps - especially on my left knee where it's already been scoped out. I kind of quit physical therapy before I had "passed" and got clearance to resume normal activity, but I just wasn't making a lot of progress and it was during a time where I was having several dr. appts a week as it was.
So I have to balance the intensity of my workouts. I am still on heart medication to keep my heart rate down which I find feels odd when working out. And I'm not quite sure how much to trust my heart rate with judging how hard I am working. I've also got to keep the "whooshing" in my head down to avoid a monstrous headache. Add that to balancing the intensity of my knees and I'm feeling a little lost.
Before my knee surgery, I was going to the gym 4-5 days a week for 1 1/2 hours working very hard - burning at least 650 calories a workout. Not only was I working out for a long time, but also making sure my heart rate was in the optimum range during that time. I was eating more low fat proteins and watching my carbs and sugar intake. And I drank a lot of water. And I lost nothing. No, not a pound, not an inch, not a pant size. Nothing.
Pretty frustrating since during that same time Ryan was wanting to loose a few pounds. He was loosing a pound or two a week by just not eating as much. He didn't exercise really or make this giant effort. It just meant not eating thirds and fourths at dinner.
So, my attitude admittedly is a little sour. I don't have much faith in my body to loose weight. I don't trust that doing the same thing that other people do will get me the results I am looking for.
I gotta do it though. It helps me to:
- say I am at least trying
- feel mentally better (I LOVE the time to myself)
- feel healthier - even without loosing weight I have to be strengthening something!
- eliminate the guilt of not doing anything at all.
Thanks for listening to my complaining. Hopefully I am not the only one frustrated with these magnificent and complicated bodies we have been given. It's okay if you think I'm just nuts! :)
7 comments:
I commend you. I don't have the stick-to-it attitude you do. I keep telling myself I'm going to do better. I, too, know I feel better when I excercise. But it is frustrating that men don't have to do anything. Randy can also lose weight like Ryan seems to. Within a week of not doing anything other that wanting to lose weight, he can go down two notches on his belt. Keep in mind though, that your more healthy cooking also had something to do with Ryan's sudden ability to effortlessly lose pounds!
Hang in there. We all love you for who you are!
Thanks for all the great info on the audio books. WE have a few we listen to in the car, but I bought them at a store, or got them for free at Wendy's. I bought the whole set of Narnia at Borders for 10 bucks. That was my steal last year. The kids love listening to it.
I know how you feel about the weight thing. I feel like I never lose a pound, but I do see a difference in how my clothes fit and how i look in pictures. I can't imagine doing it your way, having to weigh so many things and worry about so much. I commend you for all you do! Keep up the good work. I am with you on the alone time, even if it is as 6 am, sometimes that is the only time I get to breath and get adult conversation.
I know it's more money down the tubes, but I wonder if a trainer would be able to help at all. It for sure would have to be the right one...one who's willing to take everything you just mentioned into account. Even just a consultation where they could give you general ideas and then you could put them into action on your own. Just a thought......
Your comment about "it's got to be strengthening SOMETHING" is so true. When I started working out hard 2 months ago, I went my whole first month without losing a thing. Now it's finally starting to come off. I realized that during that first month, I was packing on the muscle pounds at the same rate I was losing the fat pounds, so it evened out for a bit. Another thought......
Exercise is SO GOOD for you, regardless of weight. My sweet Sheldon is about as thin as they come. He can lose 2 pounds with a single run :) He has genetically high cholesterol, though. Once he started working out, his numbers came down dramatically. You see the same thing with diabetes. It's good...no matter what the scale tells you...it's good.
Ok, off of my soapbox :) See you at the gym!
That would be very frustrating to workout so hard without seeing any results. I'm sorry about you mysterious health conditions.
Way to go to keep going to the gym, the books sound fun too! I want to get some of the ones you mentioned.
I like that new title by Emily Watts, "I Hate it When Exercise is the Answer". You are way more dedicated than I ever have been. Weight Watchers has been my only solution. I think weight loss can be controlled far more by what we eat than exercise. Exercise no doubt makes us strong, so keep at it.
we need to chat. Tomorrow when I'm online I'll send you a message via facebook. Don't give up! Hang in there and keep going!
My sister exercised religiously for 6 years after her last baby and only gained weight, and then quit exercising and suddenly started to lose weight. That was totally discouraging for her. But I have learned to never exercise with the thought that it's going to make me lose weight (and for her it turned out to be thyroid related and just a coincidence). I do it because it makes me feel so great and yes, the alone time, and all the things you said. I was so frustrated for a year or so after Micah was born becuase of my knee, too. I had to find new kinds of working out that didn't reinjure it. Anyway, even just walking for 30 min to an hour every day is awesome, maybe best in some ways. You are such an amazing person--hang in there!
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