Open mouth, insert foot - or feet.

As I get older or busier or have more kids or less sense, I am putting my foot or feet in my mouth more and more. I seldom have a week go by where I don't hide in my room or car in embarrassment thinking of something I have said. Usually these offenses occur on Sunday. Why Sunday, I don't know. Probably because I interact with the most people on Sunday.

Oh the things I can say... I am starting to think about all the times I have said stupid things. I relate to the comic Brian Regan when talking about himself and saying "oh no, words are coming out!". He talks about asking this lady "so when's the baby due?" and half way through the word 'baby' he realizes what he is saying and so the word baby comes out nice and loud and clear. The lady says "what baby?" and he tries to turn it into a conversation about the pandas at the zoo and how he heard they were trying to have one... okay, maybe you have to hear it to think it is funny.

If I were a public figure it would be even worse. I typed in "open mouth insert foot" into Google and got a bunch of funny things people have said. The only thing worse than my loose lips would be my loose lips on television. Here are a few people that have it worse than me.

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?
Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever."
-- Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
-- Mariah Carey

"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
-- David Dinkins, Former New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign

"I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body."
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward

"Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw with either hand."
-- Duffy Daugherty , football coach and sports analyst

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
-- Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, D.C.

"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
-- Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
-- Gerry Brown

Here is a YouTube video of our new Vice President, Joe Biden.
'Chuck' is in a wheelchair.

"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
-- George Bush, US President

"I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them."
-- George Bush, US President

Oh poor President Bush. He has had more open mouth and insert foot moments in his 8 years as president than most of us will in our lifetime (possibly me being one of the exceptions of course). If I had cameras following me around, I would have my own segment on David Letterman each evening too.

So I hope all will forgive me for being the victims of my open mouth insert foot moments. I know I have said things or shown expressions to things I should not have. If only I can take back all the dumb stuff that comes out... But I can't so I just try to move on and try to forget about it and ask in my prayers each night that Heavenly Father will give my family and friends amnesia...